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Rapper Tips, Smells Like Strips and Arod’s Purple Lips

Justin August 5, 2013 0

I think the rapper, T.I., should name his next album “Magnum T.I.” and the cover should be a picture of an extra large condom wrapper and a giant bottle of champagne. That seems like

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Record Rows, Late Shows and Softball Throws

Justin July 29, 2013 0

I once went out with a girl who, early on in our first date, answered one of my shitty “get to know you” questions by saying, “I don’t really like music.” Let me repeat

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Summer Blues, Pirates Cruise and Shower Shoes

Justin July 22, 2013 0

I’m sorry, internet. I’ve been neglecting my duties as SCP’s resident important social commentator/dick joke maker. I’ve had a lot going on this summer and our beloved website has been forced to pay the

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Raw Fluke, The Euk and Enough Puns To Make You Puke

Justin July 1, 2013 0

It’s been pretty terrible in New York lately. It’s been hot, but worse, its been humid. The city become almost unbearable after a few days of humid weather, with the sidewalks baking. the air

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Music Class, Story Bypass and Oral Morass

Justin June 10, 2013 0

On Thursday night, I went to see a symphony. Why? Well, dickheads, it’s because I’m a classy motherfucker. You may remember that, a few months ago, I went to a country music show. I

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Midget Price,Tito’s Nice and Reading the Same Thing Twice

Justin June 2, 2013 0

On Friday, there was a midget on the Price is Right. A MIDGET!!!!!! MAKE A WISH! Was your wish for more midget on Price is Right? On Thursday night, I went to the Yankee

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Music Mystery, Murder Mystery and Revised History

Justin May 26, 2013 0

What the fuck is Daft Punk? Everywhere I look, I see articles about Daft Punk’s new album and how the immediate release of a Daft Punk remix is the most Daft Punk thing that

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Friends Who Are Funny, Athletes With Money and Lying About Sonny

Justin May 19, 2013 1

I’ve been spending a ridiculous amount of time with my imaginary friend lately. Well, the friend isn’t imaginary as much as the friendship is. His name is Marc Maron and he is dominating my

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Baseball Funk, Not a Punk and Driving Drunk

Justin May 13, 2013 1

I’m sitting on my couch right now, watching game 2 of a doubleheader between the Yankees and Indians. And I’m shocked to realize that this might be the first baseball game that I’ve actually

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On Questions Dumb, Missing and International

Justin May 6, 2013 0

Here is a question that I, a grown man, asked another human being, who happens to be an employee at a store that sells greeting cards. “Umm.. excuse me. ┬áDo you guys have any

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