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Laugh Tracks and Mail Fails

Justin October 30, 2011 0

“OMG. You are Chandler.” This being 2011, that’s not the sort of text message one expects to┬áreceive from a friend at 11:30. And yet, there it was, one night last week. To be fair,

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Unwelcoming Faces, Stigmatized Places and Basket Cases

Justin October 23, 2011 0

My face has apparently become a problem. I woke up Wednesday in a perfectly fine mood. It was raining and I didn’t sleep well the night before, but, all in all, I was feeling

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Empty Head, Dirty Teeth and Magic Arm

Justin October 14, 2011 0

Writer’s block is a bitch. Sports Illustrated: October 17th, 2011  

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Red Bank, Crimson Tide and A Three Way

Justin October 8, 2011 0

No one wants to see Weird Al with me and I think that’s a terrible indictment of where we are as a society. Mr Yankovic, one of the great comic minds of our time,

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Dumb Readers, Dumber Pitchers and A Dude From Harvard

Justin October 2, 2011 0

A few weeks ago, I addressed an SCP commenter named Bobby, who posted a comment about model Kate Upton that we had to pull down off the site. You may remember. He got a

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Liberal Rage, False Sage and Statistical Gauge

Justin September 24, 2011 0

The New York City Subway system is the exact nexus where crippling mental illness meets moneyed liberal guilt. Up until this point, mental illness has usually come out on top. Today, I’m here to

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Bad Guy, Bad Guys and Another Bad Guy

Justin September 17, 2011 0

By all appearances, I am a nice guy. I hold the elevator for people running a second behind. I always let a lady enter a room before me. If I see the guy windex-ing

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Commenter Creeps and Congressman Sleeps

Justin September 12, 2011 1

King Ing was recently away from the site for a couple of weeks. He’s obviously a very important part of the team. ┬áHe posts the vast majority of our content, populating our site with

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Bad Taste, Bad Sleep and Bad Tackling

Justin September 2, 2011 1

ESPN wouldn’t let me name my fantasy football team 9/11. “But Justin,” you ask, “why would you want to name your fantasy football team 9/11?” My motivation is immaterial to this argument. It doesn’t

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Close Calls, Close Words and Clothes Mullets

Justin August 30, 2011 0

There was a quake on Tuesday and a hurricane on Sunday. Wow. On behalf of all of us, I’d like to say, FUCK YOU, EARTH. There are a few things no one likes to

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