SI Review »

Bike Fails, Blown Calls and Beltways

Justin September 29, 2012 0

All in all, I enjoy living in what some people call Michael Bloomberg’s nanny state. I don’t smoke. I can’t tell that there are no trans fats in my food. I will never miss

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Creepy Eyes, Thematic Lies and Fast Guys

Justin September 23, 2012 0

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Is Making Eye Contact With Me On The Subway Platform Dear guy who is making eye contact with me on the subway platform, Stop it. You’re creeping

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Mom Dates, QB Traits and Sad Fates

Justin September 15, 2012 0

And now, the story of the time I once tried to ask a girl out but wound up propositioning her mother instead. A few years ago, a woman from work decided to set me

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Birthday Boozing, Table Snoozing and Mental Faculties Losing

Justin September 8, 2012 0

When I was 22 years old, I took a trip to Atlanta to visit a friend who went to Georgia Tech. One night, I got drunk, ran across a highway, got punched in the

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Car Ports, Clay Courts and Scouting Reports

Justin September 3, 2012 0

I am a terrible driver. I always have been. The day I got my driver’s license, I picked up BShrek and BHersk at their houses, pulled out of the driveway and proclaimed, “Oh my

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Exposed Skin, Thin Skin and Pig Skin

Justin August 19, 2012 0

I’m just going to come right out and say it. Ladies, I can see your bra. Every day, all over the place, women of all ages are exposing their undergarments. It’s becoming an epidemic. I’m

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Being Nice, Chili Spice and Olympic Advice

Justin August 14, 2012 2

I have a lot of friends. Way more than you do. That’s not a reflection on you. It’s just that I’m funnier and smarter and more pleasant to be around than other people. It’s

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Psychological Profiling and No Interest in Olympic Diving

Justin August 7, 2012 0

Internet, do you think I’m a psychopath? Apparently, this is a real concern. And it’s not because I’ve shared a string of pretty anti-social inner monologues in this space over the past several years.

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Bad Day Dreams, Unimportant Teams and Nonsensical Scientific Themes

Justin July 29, 2012 0

My girlfriend is pregnant!! I’m not the father. Also, I’ve never actually had a conversation with her. Let’s start at the beginning.  There is a pharmacy around the corner from my apartment. It’s my

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Big Apple, Big Backs and Big Mouths

Justin July 8, 2012 0

On July 9th, 2002, the All Star Game ended in a tie after 11 innings, when both teams ran out of pitchers. I was not watching when that decision was made. I saw Torii

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