- Obama gave his victory sermon speech and Hillary is out (even if she hasn’t conceeded yet).

- If Hank Steinbrenner is putting his egg’s in Joba’s basket, he’s going to be disappointed. Joba lasted 2.1 innings, throwing 38 pitches in the first inning alone. The Yankees needed 6 pitchers to get through the game, and lost 9-3 to the Blue Jays. Worst performance: Roberto Abreu who went 0/5 with 2 k’s. Best performance: Johnny Damon, who was a homerun short of the cycle.

-The Cubs won 9-6 over the Padres. Did Ing win his bet?

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Lakers 120 Jazz 110 - Kobe Bryant (34 pts, 8 reb, 6 ast) spent the first night with his MVP award dominating the Jazz. After the Jazz took a 13-12 lead, Bryant scored the next 6 points to put the Lakers ahead for good. Lamar Odom chipped in 19 pts and 16 boards while Pau Gasol had 20 and 12. LA shot a astonishing 57% form the field and an even better 64% from 3-point range. Carlos Boozer (10 points, all in the second half) and the Jazz will have to play better in Utah if they want to stop the #1 seed from remaining undefeated in the playoffs. The last postseason they won 6+ games in a row was in 2001, where they went on to win the NBA championship.

Magic 111 Pistons 86 - Rashard Lewis led Orlando to their first win of the series with a playoff career high 33 points. The Magic finally beat the Detroit after losing 9 straight playoff games. Bigger than the game 3 loss to the Pistons was the injury to Chauncey Billups. Just four minutes into the game Billups (strained right hamstring) and Jameer Nelson got tangled up causing the Pistons guard to fall hard to the floor. Flip Saunders hopes he will be ready for game 4 on Saturday. Detroit isn’t the same team without their floor general. Rodney Stuckey can fill in admirably for Chauncey, but the floor presence isn’t there.

We watched Wednesday night TV while you went out drinking. Here’s a recap of who lost big:

Chien Ming Wang took the mound and took an L for the Yankees last night, as Cleveland sqeaked by NY 3-0. I’m banning our writer Gino Vaginelli for jinxing the game by professing his love of Wang yesterday. To Wang’s credit, he did throw 7 innings and would have won if the Yanks didn’t leave 7 on base with 4 in scoring position.

Jonathan Papelbon took the L for Boston, as Lugo’s 9th inning fielding error put Detroit’s SS Edgar Renteria on base. Placido Flamingo Polanco followed up with a base hit to score Renteria, as Detroit’s pwned Boston 10-9.

Jason Castro, who desecrated Bob Dylan and Bob Marley with his American Idol performances on Tuesday, was finally voted off. Say adios to our blue-eyed dreadknotted hippy and stop pretending you didn’t watch last night.

Barry Zito made his return start for the San Francisco Giants, losing the game as expected. Zito threw for 5 innings, giving up 5 hits, 2 runs and 2 walks as the Giants lost to the Pirates 3-1. Zito fell to an 0-7 record, as the Giants offense failed to back up their top-paid losing pitcher. I’m bringing back the SportsCracklePop-o-Meter for Zito and awarding him minus 5 points, not only because he went to 0-7, but also because the Giants will never give him the run support he needs to get a W.

And if you didn’t think it could get worse than Zito’s, Papelbon’s and Wang’s performances, Brad Penny just proved you wrong. Penny gave up 10 runs in 4.2 innings, as the Mets just clobbered the Dodgers 12-1. Even Mets pitcher John Maine, who has a .067 batting average, hit Penny with a 2 run base-hit. Speaking of Maine, he also took a shutout into the 9th Wednesday, and was 2 outs away from his 3rd shutout and complete game when Matt Kemp ruined it with a 1 run single.

Celtics 76 Cavaliers 72 - With Boston superstars Paul Pierce (2-14 fg) and Ray Allen (0-4 fg) struggling, someone needed to step up and help Kevin Garnett on the offensive end. Leave it to veteran Sam Cassell to fill in he void. Cassell scored 10 of his 13 points in the 4th quarter, including two big 3-pointers to help the Celtics win the first game of what seems will be a defensive series. KG (28 pts 8 reb) put the Celtics ahead for good when he pulled a spin move around Joe Smith to momentarily free him up for a finger roll layup. Lebron (2-18 fg) had a chance to tie the game but his layup drive rimmed in and out to James Posey. The Cavs will try to even up the series Thursday night.

Tuesday proved to be a night of blown opportunities — and no, I wasn’t on the receiving end of any such opportunity, unfortunately. A recap of the people who choked:

Gavin Floyd blew his no-hitter when Joe Mauer doubled in the 9th inning. White Sox still beat the Twins 7-1.

Luis Ayala blew the National’s lead over the Astros, as Carlos Lee doubled off Ayala in the bottom of the 8th, scoring 2 runs and leading Houston to a 6-5 win. Lee went 3-4 with 2 doubles and 3RBIs.

Jason Castro blew his American Idol performance with a terrible karaoke-like version of Bob Marley’s I Shot the Sherrif — followed up with Mr Tamborine Man, where he forgot the lyrics. Don’t pretend you didn’t watch the show.

Joba Chamberlain blew the Yankees’ 3-2 lead in the top of the 8th, as the Yanks lost to the Indians 5-3. Damon, Abreu and Melky failed to hit the ball even once.

Lebron James blew Cleveland’s first game vs. the Celtics. James shot 2-18 (11%) as the Celtics take the series lead 1-0.

Maybe you were too busy watching Asher get outted on Gossip Girl (like King Ing), or perhaps you were watching the Pistons and Hornets extend their leads to 2-0 in the Playoffs. Either way, here is what you missed from America’s favorite pastime:

1. Ervin Santana celebrates Cinco de Mayo by shutting out KC, joining Joe Saunders with a 6-0 record for the Angels. As I expected, Vlad Guerrero couldn’t break his cold streak. Vlad hit 1/4 and missed an opportunity for an easy RBI with Aybar on 3rd and no outs.

2. The Mets were limited to 1 run over 6 innings, as Chad Billingsley thew the ball well enough to lead the Dodgers to a 5-1 win over NY. Could this be the tipping point for Billingsley, who lost his first 4 straight?

3. Lowell, Youkilis, and Ortiz all homered to help out their pal Matsuzaka, who issued eight walks to the Tigers. Boston won 6-3.

4. Rookie Max Scherzer from the Dbacks got owned by Jamie Moyer and the Phillies. Scherzer was rocked for 5 runs, 7 hits, and 2 walks over 4 innings, as the Phillies won 11-4. SS Eric Bruntlett had 3 hits and 3 RBIs for Philly. Hopefully you aren’t considering trading Wright for Scherzer in your fantasy league, like this moron.