New York I love you but you’re bringing me down.
We’ve been back and forth to New Jersey pretty much every weekend for the last month and a half. We’ve looked at houses and townhouses and condos and apartments. We’ve studied train schedules and commute times parking situations. We’ve looked at day care centers. We’ve thought about what car we’re going to buy.
It’s a lot to consider. And while I consider it, one thought keeps racing through my head- None of these issues exist when you live in Manhattan.
To be clear, Both my wife and I have also said we wanted to raise our children in the suburbs. It’s how we were both raised and its how we want our children to grow up. Moving out of the city is the absolute right thing to do. But, I do not like change. I like routine. I like what I’m used to. And for the past 15 years, Manhattan has been what I’m used to.
And so, I left for work the other day really doubting whether or not we’re doing the right thing. Then I saw the display in the window of the shop which is opening downstairs from our apartment. It used to be a frame shop, then became a dry cleaner. Now, it’s a bong store. It’s officially a “smoke shop,” but it sells bongs and e cigs and vaping equipment. Also, Reese’s peanut butter cups-because smokers get hungry. I don’t want to live upstairs from a bong store.
10 minutes later, I was waiting for the 6 train. It was like 10am. And a giant rat ran down the center of the platform. Not the tracks- the platform. Right through all the people. And the rat didn’t appear to be the least bit scared. He acted like he owned the place.
We’ve gotta get the hell out of this city.
I interviewed Rain Pryor this week. She’s got a show called “Fried Chicken and Waffles,” which is about growing up half jewish and half Richard Pryor. I also asked a lot about the show Head of the Class, which she was on. I’m not sure how many interviewers choose to focus on that fact while speaking with the daughter of the greatest stand up of all time. But, hey, I am what I am. Anyway, take a listen.
Swimsuit Issue by SI staff
For probably the 10th year in a row, I didn’t even open the swimsuit edition. Danielle took a look. She says she’s happy a plus sized model was featured so prominently.
Ed by Rob Burnett, David Letterman et al
Ed was a great and under appreciated 1 hour comedy/drama which aired on NBC in the early 2000’s. It was created by David Letterman’s executive producer Rob Burnett and starred Tom Cavanaugh, Julie Bowen, Michael Ian Black and Justin Long. I loved it when it aired and I was crushed when it was cancelled after 4 years. The show used a ton of pop music (including Foo Fighters “Next Year” as the theme song.) That means clearance fees have made a DVD release cost prohibitive. And so, Ed is gone. Never to be seen again.
Until, a random cable network called the UP Network decided to start showing it again. Every weekday at 3 and 4PM. YES! Weird thing about the UP Network, though. It’s geared towards a Christian audience. That means they mute out words like ass, damn and other borderline curses. It’s strange. It’s also strange that a christian network shows Gilmore Girls after Ed every day. That’s a show about an unwed mother who raises the daughter she had, out of wedlock, as a teenager. And when that daughter becomes a teenager, she loses her viginity to her former boyfriend who is now married. Also, lots of unmarried sex all over the place.
These are my thoughts on the UP Network. Thank you for reading.
Navel Gazing: True Tales of Bodies, Mostly Mine (But Also My Mom’s, Which I Know Sounds Weird) by Michael Ian Black
Speaking of Michael Ian Black…
It may be hard to tell from the persona he plays on TV, but Michael Ian Black is actually a really sensitive, emotional and funny writer. This is his second memoir. The first focused on how he grew up and met his wife and had children. This one is about how he’s going to die. And his mom is going to die. And you’re going to die, too. But don’t worry. You’ll laugh a lot while he points that out to you.