Angry Singers, Tulo Dingers and Scoring Wingers

Justin June 2, 2014 0

Now seems like a good time for the Cyndi Lauper story.

This was probably about 10 years ago. I went to a Ranger game with my dad and my brother. We had really good seats. Better, in fact, than noted pop star Cyndi Lauper, who was sitting right behind us.

My father spent his teenage years taking the subway in from Brooklyn to watch the Rangers play at the old Garden every Sunday night. And, even though this was during the original 6 era, during most of his childhood, the Rangers were a non-playoff team. To hear him tell it (and I will admit I’ve never actually looked it up to independently confirm,) every year, The Canadians, Maple Leafs, Blackhawks and Red Wings made the post season and the Rangers and Bruins fought it out for last place.

All this losing has turned my father into a hockey fatalist. He’s seen too much losing to ever expect a win. And it turns out, that’s genetic. Because I watch the Rangers the same way. I’m not confident that they’ll win any game until we’re half way through the post game show.

And so, Cyndi Lauper.

I don’t remember who the Rangers were playing that night. I don’t even remember if they won or lost. I only remember that for the entire game, my father and I took turns saying, “Oh, man, here it comes,” because we were sure the other skate was about to drop. (Do you see what I did there? I used a well known cliche but subbed in skate for shoe because NHL hockey is played on ice by men wearing skates!)

Meanwhile, Mrs Lauper sat behind us with her son, Declan, and her husband, whose name I do not remember. They were rooting on their beloved Rangers while talking about Declan’s day at school.

About midway through the third period, those two worlds collided. My dad reacted to something on the ice by saying. “See, I knew it. Typical Rangers.”

And then Cyndi Lauper, the artist behind “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and “Time After Time”, the woman who appeared at Wrestlemania with Captain Lou Albano, the actress who did guest spots on shows I enjoy, like “Mad About You” and “Bones,” finally had enough. She yelled in that unique Queens accent that has made her famous.

“Would you two just shut up. You’re so negative!”

I’m sorry Cyndi Lauper. I’m sorry that I still watch Ranger games through gaps in my fingers as I cover my face with my hands. I’m sorry that I groan and yelp every time an opponent rushes into the Rangers zone.  I’m sorry that your recent album of Memphis style soul songs didn’t sell better. I’m sorry I’ve never seen Kinky Boots. I’m sorry that, even though they’re about to play the Kings in the Finals, I’m still not convinced the Rangers are any good.

Sports Illustrated: June 2nd, 2014




Sports Illustrated is tinkering with it’s format again. This week’s issue features a newly designed “Inbox” section, which includes just one letter to the editor on a number of different article. The idea of presenting opposing views of any specific issue appears to be abandoned.  There’s also no rhyme or reason to which letter is put where, or which font size or color the letters are printed in


This issue included an article on soccer, an article on car racing and an article on horse racing. I did not read any of them.

As far as the stuff I did read:

He’s The Man, He’s The Man, He’s The Man by Ben Reiter

A profile of Troy Tulowitski, who sounds like a committed athlete, a health fanatic and a somewhat shitty father. Tulo has found a formula that works for him. It includes specific diet, specific exercise and sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber. It does not include spending time with his child. Oh well!

A Miracle on Ice by Brian Cazanueve

My sports fandom rankings are as follows:

1. Yankees

2. Knicks

3. Rangers

4. Giants

In my life, I have seen the Yankees win 5 World Series and the Giants win 4 Super Bowls. But, for some reason, none of them even comes close to watching the Rangers win the cup in 1994. I’m not exactly sure why. It just seems more special to me. And I think, if it happens again this year, I’ll feel the same. Brian Cazanueve points out that the Blueshirts have been underdogs for much of the season and most of the playoffs. I think that has a lot to do with the way I feel.

Deep Threat by Lee Jenkins

On Gregg Popovich’s singular ability to handle a roster. I haven’t watched a second of the NBA playoffs this year. I’ve been distracted by the Rangers and the Yankees.


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