A funny thing just happened.
I was on the phone with my insurance company (How many funny stories start like that? ALL OF THEM!) I had a question about my renter’s policy. The guy on the other end of the line was very helpful. He answered my questions. He didn’t sound like he was reading off of a script. In short, he seemed like an actual person. I was very comfortable with him.
At the end of the call, he said “I just have to tell you a couple more things.” Then, he proceeded to tell me that:
1) The company’s policies do not cover flood damage when the water rises into your home or apartment
2) the policies do not cover Pet health insurance, so if I want to cover my pet I need to buy separate coverage.
And, so, I said this:
“So, If my dog drowns in a flood inside my apartment, I’m pretty much fucked, huh?”
Finally, I said “Ummm.. I was just kidding. I don’t have a dog. Also, I live on the second floor. I’m pretty safe from floods. It was a joke. Clearly, not a very good joke, but just a joke.”
“Oh,” he said, “Can I help you with anything else?”
This week’s SI opens with a Scorecard column about the offseason maneuverings of a losing WNBA franchise. Really. That happened. Meanwhile, there’s a quick sidebar about Kevin Grow, a Pennsylvania high school basketball team manager with Down Syndrome who got into a game and hit a bunch of threes. It’s a heart warming story. Maybe someone should have considered switching the placement of the two.
Good As Gold by Alexander Wolff
Hey, are you guys watching the Olympics? I’m not
Watch this instead:
Moment of Truth by S.L. Price
Price on Michael Sam. What I’ve liked the most in the past couple of weeks are the stories that answer questions raised by some NFL execs, players and fans about whether or not Sam’s teammates will be comfortable having him in the locker room. These stories have all reached the same conclusion. If an NFL player has an issue being in a locker room with a gay teammate, then it’s him, and not the gay teammate, who needs to go.
Jose Fernandez is Ready For His Second Act by Albert Chen
Chen writes about the Marlins starter, who seems committed to being the best pitcher in baseball this year. I somehow missed out on Jose Fernandez last year. I knew he was on the Marlins and I knew he made the All Star team but I really didn’t have a handle on just how good he was. I’ll be sure to pay closer attention this year.
Pocket Projectors by Pete Thamel
A story about high school quarterbacks being recruited by college coaches as early as their freshman seasons. It grosses me out.
Straight Up by Lee Jenkins
A story about Pacers Center Roy Hibbard and his defensive philosophy. This story needed more Parks and Rec mentions.
Point After by Steve Rushin
A beautiful column about Henry Aaron, who was honored in Washington on his 80th birthday. READ THIS