Homeland Fear, Boston Jeer And Hockey’s Here

Justin September 30, 2013 1

These weekly posts always include a picture of the front cover of Sports Illustrated.

Today, it will also feature a picture of the back cover:

photo (11)

 

 

This ad has been mocking me all day.

I DVR’d the season premiere of Homeland last night and had every intention of watching it today.  It’s not like I have anything else to do. I ran some errands in the morning and got home at around noon. Since then, I’ve just been sitting on the couch watching other things. Last night’s episode of Bob’s Burgers, Three episodes of Mad About You, a few minutes of Mike Francesca, The second half of the most recent Ice Age Movie (they’re somehow on an ice boat now and there are pirates?) and,  right now, Mighty Ducks.

None of these things are as good as Homeland. I love Homeland. I watched the first season of Homeland, on demand in, two days- 7 episodes the first day then 8 the day after.  Last season wasn’t as good, but it was still better than pretty much anything else on TV.  So, why haven’t I watched it yet?

Because I’m not ready to get emotionally invested yet. As good as Homeland is, it’s friggin’ exhausting. Carrie is crying. Saul is whispering. Brody is running (and also whispering. No one on this fucking show can enunciate worth a shit,) Chris is borderline retarded. (“Look at all these TVs!”)  Dana is DANA. I’m just not ready to get sucked in again.

It’ll happen eventually. Probably in the next hour or so. I just have to work up the energy to sit here like a lump and watch tv.

Sports Illustrated: September 30th, 2013

hawks

PREGAME:

There was nothing of particular interest in this week’s Scorecard section, just a piece about the long suffering Cleveland Browns’ fans and another about whether or not to pay college players. So, let’s talk about Sports Illustrated’s umpteenth redesign in the past few years. It appears the magazine is trying to be a little more internet-like. They’re using everything from highlighting copy and using different colors to combining a lot of the sillier stuff under the extra mustard web banner. It works.

THE ARTICLES: 

Lone Starstruck by Andrew Perloff

Perloff writes about the preponderance of Texas born quarterbacks in the NFL. He cites the growth of 7 on 7 youth football in the state.  He does not cite the fact that Texas has the 2nd largest population in the country and weather that allows young people to play football outdoors throughout the winter. These are probably contributing factors.

The Wired by Pete Thamel

In the past few weeks, Sports Illustrated spent a lot of time, space and money to write about big time college football’s broken system. That’s why it’s odd to see this article, in which Thamel listens in to the coaches’ headsets during an Ohio State game. Buckeyes coach Urban Meyer seems like as dirty and uncaring a coach as there is in the NCAA.

The Hirsute of Happiness by Steve Rushin

Here’s a tweet from our friend, John

His point is well taken. I think Steve Rushin has become a hackneyed and lazy writer who aims for puns more than content. And, I think the Red Sox are the root of all evil.  In a way, John is right. I didn’t read this article, which is about the Red Sox players’ beards,  as much as I hate fucked it with my eyes.

The Best Day by Mark Godich

This one I just didn’t read. It’s an excerpt from a book about the Missouri-Kansas football rivalry. First of all, why wasn’t it placed in the magazine after the two previous football articles? And secondly, who in the world gives a shit about the Missouri-Kansas rivalry except for people who live in Missouri or Kansas?

How Do You Beat These Guys by Michael Farber

Farber is another writer whose puns drive me nuts. But, this article, which serves as the magazine’s main NHL preview, is nearly pun-less. He writes about the efforts to increase scoring in the league. And it’s really good.

Power Rankings by Brian Cazanueve and Sarah Kwak

The magazine handles the season preview very well too.  Cazanueve puts the Eastern Conference teams in their expected order of finish then writes a bit about each one. Kwak does the same for the Western Conference. I know Sports Illustrated isn’t going to dedicate an entire issue to the NHL like it does with other sports. This is the best hockey fans could have hoped for.

Point After by Phil Taylor

Taylor writes about Hines Ward, who is competing in an Iron Man Triathlon. I don’t care about that. What I do care about is the fact that he’s being sponsored by “Got Chocolate Milk,” which is an ad campaign which promotes chocolate milk’s benefits as a post workout drink. Who finishes exercising and then drinks milk? That’s gross.

 

One Comment »

  1. John September 30, 2013 at 7:06 pm -

    “Who finishes exercising and then drinks milk?”

    Come on – you and I both (and anyone else who watched the 1990s Knicks and any of their postgame press conferences) know the answer to this question.

    Patrick Ewing. That’s who.

Leave A Response »