I ate a Cronut last week.
In case you are unaware, cronuts were the big it-food of the summer in New York. A baker named Dominique Ansel took a croissant, cooked it like you would cook a donut, then covered it in donut glaze. And with that, a sensation was born.
So, I ate a cronut. and it was fine. Pretty tasty in fact. But, last night I ate something even better. A DONUT! It was a chocolate glazed from Dunkin Donuts. And it was delicious. As every chocolate glazed donut from dunkin donuts has been for 50 years and will be for the next 50 years.
It’s really no comparison. The outside of a cronut and the outside of a glazed donut are the same. It’s when you take a bite that you notice the difference. When you bite into a cronut, you get airy, bland croissant dough. When you bite into a donut, you get dense delicious cake!
So, why are cronuts so popular? Location, location, location. The Dominique Ansel bakery is on Spring Street, right on the border of SoHo and the West Village, two very cool neighborhoods in New York. And they apparently have a very good PR team. One day, they ran out of cronuts early in the day. The next day, some people lined up outside to make sure they could get a cronut. And because New Yorkers will eat used band aids if they see other people lined up in SoHo to do the same, the next day, the line was even longer. And a trend is born.
Granted, the Dunkin Donuts two blocks from Dominique Ansel also has long lines, but that’s because the employees there have somehow figured out how to take more than five minutes to fill a “large coffee and a donut” order.
That’s not trendy. That’s just good old fashioned shitty customer service. And it’s delicious.
This week’s Scorecard column is handed over to guest writer Boomer Esiason, who delivers a no holds barred takedown of Ndamukong Suh. Esiason criticizes the NFL for giving Suh a “too soft” $100,000 fine and calls on the league to suspend the Lions lineman for at least 6 games. It’s harsh and opinionated talk from a guy who makes his living off the very league he’s criticizing. And that’s refreshing.
Exit Sandman by Tom Verducci
Verducci’s elegy to Mariano Rivera is a collection of memories from former and current teammates, coaches, managers, opponents and others who have crossed paths with the Yankee legend over the past 20 years. A few notes:
-Derek Jeter’s story about the day, in 1995, when both he and Mariano found out they were being sent back to the minors may be the most emotion Jeter has ever shown publicly. (Also, if someone can find the newspaper transaction page from that day, where it says the New York Yankees send Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter to down to the minors, that would be a cool keepsake.)
-Roy Halladay says Mariano showed him the cutter and helped turn him into the best pitcher in baseball. That’s really cool.
-If you didn’t cry when you read the story about the family in Kansas City who met Mariano just weeks after their young son was killed in a freak accident, then you are not human. Also, if you are not completely terrified by the nature of that accident, when the 300 pound departure board at the airport in Birmingham, Alabama suddenly fell and crushed the child, then you have no pulse. I will be avoiding airports and signs for the foreseeable future.
In Praise of the Hybrid Superback by Andy Staples
This is a boring article about a new trend in college football. Some players are talented enough to line up at various positions throughout a game, thus making it more difficult for defenses to predict what will be happening on the next play.
You Spin Me Right Round, Baby by Tim Layden
This is a very appropriate title for this article about the growing trend of NFL quarterbacks throwing back shoulder passes to beat defenses. Appropriate because I felt completely spun around by the confusing explanations of individual plays being described throughout the piece.
The Fallout by George Dohrmann and Thayer Evans
This is the final piece in a 5 part (that somehow appeared in only two issues) investigation into the shittiness of the Oklahoma State football program. This time, we learn about all the players that have been chewed up and spit out by OK State’s coaches over the past decade. It’s rough. Though this is part 5 of the series, it was the first part I actually read. Which is odd, because I have spent the past two weeks reading criticisms of the journalism, then criticism of the criticism, then criticism of the criticism of the criticism. And I actually started formulating my own opinion, without having ever read the original piece. That’s not good. How many of the critics did the same thing?
Point After by Joe Sheehan
Shockingly, I actually liked this column. Sheehan, who usually uses statistics to poke holes in traditional baseball thinking that I like to believe in, writes about Derek Jeter’s legacy. And he doesn’t take a shit on it. Sheehan essentially says, “Sure, Jeter is as great as you think he is, but he’s also been very lucky to play in New York his whole career.” This is correct.