Record Rows, Late Shows and Softball Throws

Justin July 29, 2013 0

I once went out with a girl who, early on in our first date, answered one of my shitty “get to know you” questions by saying, “I don’t really like music.”

Let me repeat that.

“I don’t really like music.”

WHAT? I honestly can’t fathom that impulse. Do you sit in silence? Do you drive with the radio off? Do you hum NPR podcasts to yourself in the shower?

To be fair, I think she probably meant, “I’m not passionate about any particular musicians or genres of music.”  But I don’t really understand that impulse either. How can you not be passionate about music? How can you not have specific songs that have the ability to change the course of your day? How can you not have singers or bands whose shows feel like religious experiences?

About three years ago, my office moved from midtown Manhattan to the West Village. This essentially doubled my morning commute. One of the main reasons I did not move downtown after this change was made (aside from a crippling fear of change,) was that I realized the extra commute time would give me more time to listen to music on the way to and from work every day.

My point: I’m a music guy. I like to listen to it and think about it and learn about it and talk about it with other music guys.

That being said, If you’re a “music guy” who refers to an album as a “record,” you are a DOUCHE BAG.

Who are you trying to impress with that?  You haven’t bought a record since the early 80′s. You just tapped a button on your screen and downloaded 10 songs onto your IPhone. Unless you’re one of those people that owns a turntable and actually goes out and buys vinyl. If that’s the case, What’s your problem? That’s so inconvenient.

“But the sonic clarity is so much better on vinyl. You’ve never really heard Exile on Main Street until you hear Charlie Watts’ drumming on vinyl.”

THAT’S DOUCHEY

Sports Illustrated: July 29th, 2013

130724-sherman-si-cover

PREGAME:

Richard Deitsch writes about Keith Olbermann’s return to ESPN.  I’m excited about this show, even though I’m not sure if I’ll ever watch it.

Reasons to watch:

-I enjoyed Olbermann when he was a Sportscenter host 20 years ago

-He’s a smart, well spoken and engaging television personality whose personal beliefs tend to mirror my own

-I am always on the lookout for smart sports discussion that rises above the usual call-in”The Mets should trade Matt Harvey” bullshit.

Reasons not to watch:

-It’s going to be on at 11pm. I DON’T STAY UP THAT LATE!

THE ARTICLES: 

Starting New by Peter King

First of all, it’s mid-July. Baseball should be on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Second, this isn’t an article. It’s an add for Peter King’s new website.

The Worse For Ware by Phil Taylor

Taylor writes about Cowboys Defensive End Damarcus Ware, who is switching positions from Outside Linebacker. This is a hybrid article, really. It’s half profile/half story about players making position switches. And as is usually the case with these types of articles, neither angle gets fully explored.

Warning: Don’t Take the Bait by Lee Jenkins

I came away from this profile liking Richard Sherman. I respect that he cares about education and tries to make sure kids who follow in his footsteps care about it too. I’m still a bit confused by the drug test thing though. He tested positive for Adderall, but then had the ban overturned. Does that mean he didn’t take it or was it some sort of Ryan Braun situation?

Why Pujols Can’t Touch This Pitch by David Epstein

Because Pujols plays baseball and Jennie Finch plays softball. That’s why. There’s no reason for Pujols ever to hit her pitch. This is an excerpt from a book I don’t have any interest in reading.

Point After by Steve Rushin

Dumb.

 

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