Midget Price,Tito’s Nice and Reading the Same Thing Twice

Justin June 2, 2013 0

On Friday, there was a midget on the Price is Right.

A MIDGET!!!!!!

MAKE A WISH!

Was your wish for more midget on Price is Right?

On Thursday night, I went to the Yankee game. The Mets beat the Yankees in a well-pitched, well played 3-1 game. I didn’t pay very close attention, though. I was distracted by another guy who was at the game. He was about 400 pounds. He was wearing a big orange button up shirt, open about 3/4 of the way down, and a pair of filthy grey sweatpants that kept falling down. (he also had a yarmulke, because he has to bring all of us down with him, apparently.)

Now, I’m not really sure what a goiter is (I’m not even sure if I’m spelling it right, but I’m scared to google the word and see pictures,) but I’m pretty sure this guy had a big one on his leg. All I know for sure is that it looked like he was smuggling something the size of a human head in the lower half of his right pants leg.

Also, when he walked by me, my cell phone lost signal. I don’t know if it was a coincidence, but how can a cell phone lose signal in a modern billion dollar open air stadium with AT&T ads posted every twenty feet?

This has been “This week in physical malformations.” Thanks for reading.

Sports Illustrated: June 3rd, 2013

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PREGAME:

It’s a shame that I’ve had to notice this over the past few years, but Sports Illustrated does a very good job of writing about the aftermath of natural disasters through the prism of sports. They did it with the BP Spill in the Gulf Coast, the tornadoes in Alabama last year and, this week, with the twisters in Moore, Oklahoma.

THE ARTICLES: 

The James Gang by SI Staff and guests

This is a cool idea. It’s five mini articles about LeBron playing all five positions on the court. What’s especially cool is that the point guard piece was written by Mark Jackson and the Center piece was done by Bill Walton. I just wish it had contained more Bill Waltonisms. I think we all need a bit more Walton in our lives.

 

The Tito Factor by Ben Reiter

When Pedro Martinez left the Red Sox for the Mets, I was finally able to admit that I liked him. Same thing when Manny went to the Dodgers, and obviously when Johnny Damon came to the Yankees. It’s taking a bit longer with Kevin Youkilis for whatever reason. So, do I like Terry Francona now that he is no longer managing the Red Sox? This article, about how he’s changed the culture in Cleveland, seems to be pushing me in that direction. Im not there yet, though.

Geathers Family Values by Austin Murphy

Murphy writes about the Geathers, a two generation NFL family from a poor part of South Carolina. I don’t really care about them.

Land Of Plenty by Albert Chen

Chen writes about the rise in the number of young baseball prospects from the state of Georgia. Sports Illustrated already wrote this article a few years ago! It was in the April 19th, 2010 issue, written by Tom Verducci.  Did someone forget? Did they think we wouldn’t notice?

Mud, Sweat and Beers by Austin Murphy

Get it? It rhymes with blood, sweat and tears!

Point After by Phil Taylor

Taylor on the retirement of Brian Urlacher and how it represents the end of an era in Chicago and for football. Every since Urlacher announced his retirement, we all seem to have conveniently forgotten the bad blood between him and the Bears earlier this off-season, when the team announced it wouldn’t be bringing him back.

 

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