Music Mystery, Murder Mystery and Revised History

Justin May 26, 2013 0

What the fuck is Daft Punk?

Everywhere I look, I see articles about Daft Punk’s new album and how the immediate release of a Daft Punk remix is the most Daft Punk thing that Daft Punk could have done. And I see that fucking helmet thats on the cover of the Daft Punk album all over the place too.

How is it possible that something became one of the most talked about musical acts of the moment without me having ever heard any of that talk until now?

So, I’ll ask again. What the fuck is Daft Punk?

Is it one guy? Is it a band? Is it a DJ? What kind of music is it? Is it rock? Is it dance music? Is it just ambient noises? Is it white people music or black people music? Are there instruments? Where is Daft Punk from? I’m guessing from the coverage and from who is talking about it, Daft Punk is either from Britain or Brooklyn. Do you listen to Daft Punk in your house while you’re cleaning? Do you listen to it while you’re driving? Is it club music? Do you have to take party drugs to enjoy Daft Punk? Will I have to take a Molly? What’s a Molly? Why is Daft Punk trying to turn me into a drug addict? Is it fun music? Does Daft Punk take Daft Punk too seriously? Or is Daft Punk in on the joke? Is there a joke? There’s got to be a joke, because, otherwise, that helmet doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Also, What the fuck is Tumblr?

Sports Illustrated: May 27th, 2013

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PREGAME:

I’ll be honest. I skipped the vast majority of the first half of this week’s magazine. I didn’t read the opening column about how the NFL CBA means Brian Urlacher has to retire. I didn’t read about Indy Car or soccer or college wrestling or tennis. Really, the only thing I read about is the two Canadian guys who are going to host the new Fox Sports network highlight show. It’s been twenty years since Dan and Keith hosted the Big Show on Sportscenter or Craig Kilborn and Brett Haber hosted the Feel Good Edition at 2am. I’l be excited to see if these two Canadians can rekindle that trend.

THE ARTICLES:  

There’s Hope, By George by Lee Jenkins

The timing of this article was really amazing. I read it the morning after Paul George nearly led the Pacers to an upset win over the Heat in game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. That means it hit my mailbox in the hours before George had his break out game. Very impressive.

California Dreamin’ On Such A Winter’s Game by Austin Murphy

Murphy traces the roots of California hockey culture which dates back to the day Wayne Gretzky was traded to the Kings and is now starting to reap some benefits in the form of California kids making an impact on the pro game. I prefer this approach to a simple rehash of what’s been happening in the NHL playoffs, especially because any chance not to think about the Rangers shitting the bed against the Bruins is a welcome respite.

2013 College Athletes Of The Year by SI Staff

A field hockey player and a Wrestler? No thanks.

The Beautiful Game Turned Ugly by Melissa Segura

Some real journalism here. Segura tries to uncover what led to the fatal attack by a teenage soccer player on a ref in Utah. What she finds is that there are no answers as to why it happens and there are now two families destroyed.

Birds on a Power Line by Ben Reiter

Let’s get this straight. Dave Duncan is a genius because, when he had pitchers who weren’t traditional flame throwers, he didn’t make them focus on fastballs. And then, later, when the organization acquired some harder throwers, they were geniuses because they let those guy throw hard.  And here’s another issue I had; Reiter makes parenthetical references to the steroid era. Is the reason he has to make parenthetical references instead of just asking directly because Dave Duncan and his boss, Tony LaRussa, coached teams in the 80′s and 90′s that were packed with steroid users?

Point After by Steve Rushin

I want to like Rushin’s paean to the Original 6. I WANT to.

 

 

 

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