Lady Parts, Power Charts and Diplomatic Smarts

Justin March 10, 2013 0

Let’s talk about thought process.

More specifically, my thought process after reading this comment, which was recently posted to SCP:

Jeannie Says:
February 23rd, 2013 at 6:26 pm
You watched an NBA game over watching the Crimson Tide kick some Leprauchan (sp?) ass from one end of Miami to the other? Have you no shame? Didn’t you learn anything from my husband? Miss you, bro…and ROLL TIDE!

-Who is this person? Oh, I know who it is. It’s Jeannie who I used to work with. She and her husband moved to Alabama a few years ago. He was a big Alabama fan. It’s nice to hear from her. I have fond memories of her.

-How did she end up reading this? Maybe she follows me on twitter.

-But, why didn’t she read it until more than a month after I posted it. Perhaps she went on a crazy Justin Twitter binge and read everything all at once. That would be cool.

-What else did I write about in the post she commented on. (At this point, I went and looked.) OH! It’s the mixtape one. Great. That’s one of my favorites.

-OH GOD, I HOPE I DIDN’T WRITE ANYTHING POTENTIALLY EMBARRASSING.

-OH NO!!!!

It was tight and chippy throughout and ended with the now infamous KG-Melo incident. Garnett reportedly angered Carmelo Anthony by saying Anthony’s wife’s vagina tastes like honey nut Cheerios. This strikes me as odd. If you’re gong to insult someone, wouldn’t you pick a less delicious cereal. “Your wife tastes like Bran Flakes,” or “Eating her snatch is like choking down dry granola!” That’s how I would insult someone.

-Snatch? Who says snatch? Why would I use that word. It’s disgusting. I would never say that out loud. I don’t want a former co-worker to even know that that word exists in my brain.

-It’s a pretty good joke though.

-Good one, Justin

Sports Illustrated: March 11th, 2013

Roger Goodell, Football,

PREGAME: 

This issue of Sports Illustrated was more writer-centric than any I can remember.  By that, I mean almost every article was written by an author with a very specific style. It started with the Scorecard piece by Michael Farber about the World Baseball Classic. I was able to surmise that Farber was the writer even before I saw his name at the end.

THE ARTICLES

Deja U by Luke Winn

Winn profiles Miami’s men’s basketball program, led by coach Jim Larranega. I am embarrassed to admit that I didn’t know he had left George Mason until earlier this season. How long has he been in Miami? I’m also embarrassed to say at this point, I haven’t watched a single college basketball game yet this year. Maybe I’ll get into it during the conference tournaments.

The Kingdoms of Sports by Steve Rushin

RUSHIN!!! Weird puns, strange metaphors and an odd string of Game of Throne references, which appear in the magazine on the same week that the SI podcast features an interview with Game of Thrones writer George RR Martin. That’s a little too much synergy for my liking. Also, George RR Martin, you get ONE MIDDLE INITIAL. Not two. Especially when they are the same.

The Power 50 by SI Staff

I lost interest quickly. This is a great idea in theory that turns into a really boring  story in practice.

The Lord of The Lockout by Michael Farber

This is a very fair look at the career and legacy of NHL commissioner Gary Bettmann. Once again, Farber’s essential Farber-ness shines through.

While he has grown he footprint of his league in the U.S., Many in Canada want to leave their footprints on his prostrate body.

FORCED!

You Think Roger Goodell Has Muscle by Jeff Pearlman

Why in the world would I read a four page article about a body building convention in Ohio?  Because it was written by Jeff Pearlman who I enjoy in both book and twitter form. And, it turns, I also like him in four page article about body building convention form.  It’s a fun read.

Point After by Phil Taylor

Earlier this week, Deadspin tore apart Rick Reilly’s stupid take on Dennis Rodman’s visit to North Korea. Phil Taylor’s effort isn’t much better. And that’s a shame, because at the end of the column, Taylor writes about ping pong diplomacy and its role in thawing relations between the US and China. Why couldn’t he just write about that without getting cute?

 

 

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