You know what’s an underrated story? The kid who played the youngest son on Home Improvement ended up marrying a much older woman and then joining some sort of cult.
At least I think that’s what happened. Let’s Google Taran Noah Smith and see how close to true my recollection is.
Oh man. IT”S EVEN BETTER THAN I THOUGHT!
When Smith was 17, he married Heidi Van Pelt, a vegan food guru sixteen years his senior. He thought it would help him to gain custody of his $1.5 million Home Improvement earnings, which he believed were being squandered by his parents.
Smith and Van Pelt started a vegan foods company called Playfood, Inc., which they ran illegally out of the Sherman Oaks home Smith had bought during his childhood. Smith told the National Enquirer that the marriage soured when his wife told him she preferred women to men.
and then this!
Taran Noah Smith, who played youngest child Mark Taylor on the ’90s sitcom Home Improvement for eight years, was arrested early Wednesday for DUI and drug possession, according to a report.
Smith, 27, was arrested around 1 a.m. in Los Angeles County, reports TMZ.com. Police say he was driving under the influence of marijuana and also had hash, a type of marijuana, in his car.
So, there you go.
For the past couple of years, I have looked forward to the “Year in Media” issue of Sports Illustrated. Apparently, I was more excited than the staff of the magazine. The whole section seems like an afterthought. There’s nothing new. There’s nothing interesting. It just seems like a rehash of stories that have already been told this year.
Also, Dan Patrick interviews Bobby Petrino. Petrino’s a terrible guy. Don’t give him a platform to try to rehabilitate his image.
All Day All The Way by Ben Reiter
This is a good read about a great player who also seems like a really nice guy. But Reiter’s profile of Adrian Peterson gets off to a rough start because of the magazine’s layout. If you’re reading the print edition, the first page of the article is printed lengthwise. So you have to turn the whole thing 90 degrees to read it. That was hard to do while running on an elliptical machine at the gym.
Put Your Trust In Russ.. by Luke Winn
Winn profiles Louisville guard Russ Smith. Russ Smith sounds like an idiot.
Does Wil Myers Remind You Of Someone? by Lars Anderson
This is just a profile of Rays prospect Wil Myers. The headline makes it sound like it will be a comparison between Myers and Dale Murphy. But they drop that whole theme almost as soon as it’s mentioned. That’s too bad. I want to know more about Dale Murphy. Everything I’ve ever read says he’s the greatest guy in the world, but for some reason, in the recesses of my mind, I feel like someone once told me he’s kind of a jerk. I think he might have said something shitty about women once. Let’s go back to google and find out.
A devout Latter-day Saint, or Mormon, Murphy did not drink alcoholic beverages, would not allow women to be photographed embracing him and paid his teammates’ dinner checks as long as alcoholic beverages were not on the tab. He also refused to give television interviews unless he was fully dressed.
Oh. That’s actually pretty decent. Good for him. I take back my impression of him as a jerk.
This Photo Tells A Story by Ben Reiter
Reiter catches up with the replacement ref who made the now infamous TD call in the Packers-Seahawks game earlier this season. I got about one page into this article, then fell asleep on the couch. That’s not a reflection on the story. It was late Saturday night and I had just gotten home from dinner, where I had a few drinks.
Point After by Phil Taylor
Phil Taylor wants to be a backup QB. OK!