Psychological Profiling and No Interest in Olympic Diving

Justin August 7, 2012 0

Internet, do you think I’m a psychopath?

Apparently, this is a real concern. And it’s not because I’ve shared a string of pretty anti-social inner monologues in this space over the past several years. It’s for a far more troubling reason.

This is the headline on mashable.com this morning:

Not on Facebook? Employers, Psychiatrists May Think You’re a Psychopath

The article quotes the Daily Mail which is, in turn, quoting Der Taggspiegel.  German pyschologists say Facebook activity is a reflection of a healthy social life. And if the Germans are calling me a nutjob, then I must be in serious trouble.

Apparently, prospective employers think, if an applicant doesn’t have a facebook page, that probably means the person had to delete their account because it was awash in psychological red flags.

I assure you, internet, this is not the case with me. I am not hiding anything scary.

But, the question is out there. People ask me about it a lot. So, let’s put the issue to rest.

Justin, why aren’t you on facebook?

Here are some of the reasons I’ve given in the past:

-I already talk to all my friends from childhood on a regular basis.
-I honestly and truly do not care what former classmates are up to these days. If I wanted to hear about their lives, I would have kept in touch with them.
-I don’t need something else to be distracted by. Isn’t Twitter enough?
-I’m not a 16 year old girl.

And my personal favorite:

-Facebook? Fuck you.

All of this is bullshit. Here’s the real reason why I have not done like 900 million other people worldwide and signed up for Facebook: I don’t want to be a hypocrite.

I’ve spent the past 5 years talking shit about Facebook and making fun of everyone who tells me to join it. So, I can’t just sign up. Everyone I’ve criticized about it will turn right around and point out my hypocrisy. I don’t want to deal with that. Especially online with everyone else looking at it!

So, yes. I am curious about Facebook. I am curious what people from 2nd grade are up to. I don’t think it would be too distracting. Fuck you? Fuck me.

It’s just that I’ve built too tall an anti-Facebook wall to climb over.

See.  I can rationalize my behavior, no matter how odd or outside the social norm it might seem.

That doesn’t make me a psychopath, does it?

Sports Illustrated:  August 6th, 2012:

Ryan  Lochte, Swimming , USA

I DIDN’T READ ANY OF THIS WEEK’S SPORTS ILLUSTRATED. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE OLYMPICS. I AM COMPLETELY BORED BY THE OLYMPICS.  HOPEFULLY, WE’LL GET BACK TO TOPICS I AM MORE INTERESTED IN ONCE THE OLYMPICS IS OVER. I FEAR, THOUGH, THAT NEXT WEEK’S ISSUE WILL BE THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW AND I WILL HAVE SIMILAR COMPLAINTS. I’M SORRY.

 

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