Pig Vomit, Dolphin QB and Human Ladies

Justin May 7, 2012 0

Some men freak out when they realize their hair has begun thinning. I started going bald when I was 16, so, for me, it was never a sign that I was getting old.

Other people get worried when they spot a gray hair. Again, not an issue for me. I have very little hair on my head, but, for the most part, it has maintained it’s original color.

This doesn’t mean I’m not susceptible to follicle related age despair. Something happened this weekend that jarred me to my core. Early Sunday afternoon, I walked by a mirror in my hallway and… I caught a glimpse of Giamatti.

Allow me to explain. Back in November, I decided to grow a beard. I think it looks good. Most people seem to agree. I have gotten a number of compliments over the past few months. But, there’s one person in particular who HATES the beard. That person is my mother. She has been unwavering in her absolute hatred of my facial hair. Why? One reason. In her words, “YOU’RE GOING TO LOOK LIKE PAUL GIAMATTI!!!”

I didn’t put much stock into this proclamation. My mother is unhappy with a choice I have made. She will use whatever tools are at her disposal to try to dissuade me. In my family, the tools that are most often and most effectively wielded are horrible spirit crushing insults. It’s how we get our point across. So, that’s what I assumed the Giamatti comment was. It was an insult that I batted away and moved on from.

Then, Sunday afternoon happened. I walked by that mirror in the hallway. I didn’t look directly at it. I just caught a glimpse through the corner of my eye. But, this is what I saw:

Let’s be clear. Paul Giamatti is a fine actor. I recently watched the film “Win Win.” He was fantastic. He also seems like an awfully nice man. That being said, he is not a particularly handsome gentleman. And he is not the person a 33 year old man should want people to be reminded of when they meet him.

I woke up this morning and I trimmed the fuck out of my beard. It is super close cropped now.  I’ve been walking back and forth past that same mirror, trying to catch glimpses out of the corner of my eye. So far so good. No Giamatti.

Happy Mothers Day

Sports Illustrated. May 7th, 2012:

Title IX,

PREGAME: 

You know an issue of Sports Illustrated is going to different when the “Inside..” section includes a three page column. Peter King’s piece about Ryan Tannehill is essentially an article, presented as a column. Does it matter? Not really. It’s a matter of semantics and formatting. I just thought it was worth noting.

As for the content, it seems like the Dolphins are placing some unreal expectations on Tannehill.

 “I didn’t see a huge separation between Griffin and Ryan at the time,” Ireland said on Friday. “I just didn’t see it.”

That’s tough. No one, aside from Jeff Ireland, has said Tannehill is anywhere near as good as Robert Griffin III. By building his rookie quarterback up for his fans, the Dolphins GM may be  setting him up to fail.

THE ARTICLES

I’m not going to break each little Title IX article down individually. I will say I found a lot of them very interesting. These are important stories in sports history and, until now, I didn’t know any of them. So, i applaud SI for shining a light on the history of women’s athletics. I just don’t know why the magazine chose to do it now. Title IX became law on June 23rd, 1972. Why not wait a month and a half and celebrate the the 40th anniversary then. It makes sense from a historical standpoint and from a magazine standpoint. We’re in the middle of NBA and NHL playoffs, the NFL draft just happened and Bryce Harper showed up this week. There’s a lot of sports to talk about. At the end of June, there’s nothing but the dog days of the baseball season.

Point After by Phil Taylor

It’s dumb. Skip it.

Leave A Response »