Your Official SCP Oscar Night/NBA All Star Game Mashup

Justin February 23, 2012 0

Someone must have forgotten to check the calendar. How else do you explain the fact that the Oscars and the NBA All Star Game are both on Sunday Night?

What are you going to watch? Are you going to DVR the other one? Wouldn’t it be great if you could combine both events into one?  Would I be asking for any reason other than the fact that I did just that?  What do you think?

I’ve assigned each Best Picture nominee with it’s equivalent NBA All Star or All Stars.

Presenting Sports Crackle Pop’s Official Oscar Night/NBA All Star Game Mashup.

THE ARTIST- Tony Parker  (He’s FRENCH!!! The Artist takes place in Paris )

THE DESCENDANTS- Kobe Bryant, Marc Gasol and Kevin Love  (They’re all descended from good stock. Both Kobe and Love have fathers who played in the NBA and Gasol’s brother is perennial All Star Pau Gasol. Also, Love’s related to most of the original Beach Boys. They sang about the beach. The Descendants takes place in Hawaii. SEE HOW IT WORKS)

EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE-Carmelo Anthony  (Both had highly anticipated arrivals, but started with a disaster in NYC. Eventually, though, a small dude shows up and makes everyone feel better. In the movie, it’s the annoying kid who stars. For Carmelo, It’s Jeremy Lin.)

MONEYBALL- Andre  Iguodala and Luol Deng  (Neither guy jumps out at you as a star, but they both fill up a stat sheet and do what it takes to help their teams win.)

TREE OF LIFE- LaMarcus Aldridge  (Everyone says their really good, but no one has really seen them. For Tree of Life, it’s because it’s a small art house movie. For Aldridge, its because he plays in Portland and those games are on LATE at night.)

WAR HORSE- Dirk Nowitzki (I could say something about how the Dirk has been consistent and reliable for years, just like what I think the War Horse is supposed to be like in this movie, but actually it’s because he’s German and those motherfuckers love war.)

THE HELP- Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh (This one’s easy. If it makes you feel better, Wade can be Viola Davis, who everyone says is a great actress in her own right who just hasn’t carried her own film yet.  Bosh is that other lady with the big eyes)

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS- Dwight Howard (He’s got a nice situation, but is dreaming about being somewhere else and spending time with big names.)

HUGO- Kevin Durant (It’s a 3D movie that harkens back to a simpler time. Durant’s a 21st century player who carries himself with the class and dignity that harkens back to a simpler time. I am well aware that this comparison is totally forced. They can’t all be winners.)

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