By now, we’ve all seen this commercial for McDonalds’s Chicken McNuggets.
I hate it. Let’s talk about why
First of all, where the hell are these people? Is it a community center? Is it a ping pong center? Is there such a thing as a ping pong center? Doesn’t Susan Sarandon have something to do with Ping Pong centers? Or did she just act like she liked Ping Pong after breaking up with Tim Robbins, so people would think she was doing alright and not just slumming it with some guy who was too young and thought he was going to make his millions by convincing New Yorkers to go play ping pong on a Saturday night? Do you remember Nerf Gnip Gnop? Did anyone ever find fake ping pong with sponges on the kitchen table fun?
Secondly, what kind of horrible prick insults old women in public? And why is he speaking loud enough for the old women to hear his insults? Did his friends laugh because they thought it was funny? Or were they giggling out of awkward uncomfortableness? Did he actually think his joke was funny? Didn’t he think “slow motion ping pong” was kind of lazy? Why didn’t he take a bit more time and come up with a better joke?
How long had the old lady and her friends been casing the joint? Were they targeting this guy specifically? Or were they just waiting for anyone to come in and question their Ping Pong ability? Was there only goal to get some free McNuggets? Would they have played for other food products? What about a filet o’ fish sandwich? An order of fries? A burrito from Chipotle? Why not just play for money? Couldn’t they have taken enough money from this guy to afford more than 6 McNuggets? How expensive is a 20 piece? Why didn’t they try to bet enough money to afford lunch AND have some cash left over?
Does this kid show up to that place every afternoon with an order of McNuggets? If so, shouldn’t he see a doctor? Can it possibly be healthy to eat Chicken McNuggets every afternoon? Why isn’t he morbidly obese? Did he get winded while playing the old lady in Ping Pong? How much of a factor was his lack of physical fitness as compared to her Ping Pong skill? What dipping sauce does he prefer? Is he one of these idiots who orders a ton of food at McDonald’s and then asks for a Diet Coke, because it has no calories? Who are these people kidding?
And the biggest question of them all:
Why is this commercial so effective at making me crave McNuggets?