Mail Call, Football and Safe Call

Justin January 7, 2012 1

I know an awful lot about T.K. Haroman, considering I’ve never  met him.

I know he went to school at Notre Dame. I know he plays golf. I know he likes running. I know he dresses very well.

T.K. Haroman lived in my apartment before I did and, even though it’s been 5 years, I still get some of his mail.

I know about his time as a Golden Domer because the alumni magazine comes 4 times a year. His interests in golf and running are apparent through the catalogs he gets. Same thing for the clothes. He gets brochures for secret sales and catalogs from high end clothiers on a near daily basis.

He sounds like a man with expensive tastes.

One thing I’ve always found odd, though, is that he seems to bounce back and forth between using his first name and his middle name. Some of the mail comes to one and some of it comes to the other.

The mystery may be solved though. It seems T.K. Haroman may owe the state of Georgia some money. A good amount in fact. You see, T.K. Haroman, has begun receiving notices of a tax lien. To be clear, I’ve never opened any of his mail. The warning of tax liens are printed right there on the envelope.  Each time one comes, I write “DOES NOT LIVE HERE” on the envelope and leave it for the mailman to take back. I don’t know what else to do.

I will proffer up this advice, in the fleeting chance that T.K. Haroman is reading this.  Maybe not so much with the spending for you. Why not skip the next golf date or custom suit and pay your damn taxes instead?  I’m tired of getting mail that scares me for a split second until I realize it’s really for you.

Sports Illustrated: January 9th, 2012

Tom Brady, Football, New England Patriots

 

PREGAME:

I hope Dick Friedman never makes it to an LSU game. I don’t say this to be mean. Quite the opposite, actually. I find his lifelong devotion to the Tigers, based initially on the fact that they wear cool colors, to be charming and sweet. We all know someone like this. I have a friend who’s a Cubs fans because he liked bears when he was a kid. I’m pretty sure Beltway Buddy is a Jets fan because his uncle once gave him a Green Jets pen.  It makes for a great story later in life.

THE ARTICLES

NFL Playoff Preview by Peter King

Thank god Peter King is here to teach us that Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees had some struggles early in their career. Most fans haven’t heard a lot about these three journeyman players. SARCASM!

Scouting Reports by SI Staff

This is all very well researched and very well written. I just see no purpose for it. By the time I read it, the Texans and Bengals were already at half time.

Tale of The Tape by Lars Anderson

I could talk about the fact that Anderson came up with a creative way to cover a game that’s already been covered to death. I could harp, once again, on the fact that this matchup holds absolutely no appeal to me and I don’t expect to watch any of it. But, I’m not going to do either of those. Instead, I’m going to point to one sentence,

On the fourth snap from scrimmage Tide quarterback AJ McCarron completed an eight-yard pass to tight end Brad Smelley, who had lined up wide right and run a simple out pattern

and then I’m going to laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! His name is Smelley! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That is all.

Tom Brady As You Forgot Him by Michael Rosenberg

It’s good to see that, after half a season of being distracted by Tim Tebow, the football media has been reminded who their actual Jesus is.

Point After by Phil Taylor

What an interesting, and ultimately heartbreaking, way to look at the aftermath of the Sandusky scandal. Phil Taylor, a youth basketball coach, writes about how the way he treats his players has changed because he doesn’t ever want to be in a position where he can even be accused of doing something untoward. Sad but true.

 

 

One Comment »

  1. Beltway Buddy January 8, 2012 at 12:11 am -

    I’m a Jets fan because my family had tickets on the 50, 10 rows from the field on the shady side of the old meadowlands. Eat a dick. I hope T.K. reads your article, realizes you keep your back window open and comes in during the night and rapes you, forcefully. And repeatedly.

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