So, you know how, on Gchat, people can post little status notes? Well, our old friend, Beltway Buddy,  has one right now that says “You are a factory of sadness.”  At first, I assumed he was taking a shot at me.  But, then I clicked on the link he posted. And it made my morning. I apologize that this is a few days old, but its new to me

The story at Penn State is only going to get more horrifying and more difficult to fathom as the days and weeks go on.  So, how about a change of pace?

“Morning Joe” co-host Willie Geist shares this tale of bringing his four year old daughter to her first football game. It’s sweet and light and tugs at the heart strings. In other words, its the exact opposite of all the horrors we’ve been exposed to at Penn State this week.  I think we can all use a break.

Thanks to Kevin for the heads up

Remember when Mike Tyson was a dangerous psychopath and not America’s preeminent comedian?  Times have certainly changed

This old prison guard put on a better performance than the Philadelphia Eagles did Monday night. That isn’t saying much.

-H/T Guyism

KT Tatara wants to educate you all on the 9 ways Asian guys can style their hair.

I have pretty much had all these looks (even the long hair) and am rocking the Pop Star now.

I need to find a new stylist fast.

Thiago Motta better look over his shoulder, because the Italian is out for revenge after this nut slap.

New 8-packs of Bud Light! Yeah right.

These Alabama and LSU fans show us how to party together.

-H/T FOTP

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I don’t like your friends.

That’s not true. I like most of them, individually. I just don’t like them as a group. There are few things in life that I enjoy less than being forced to intersect a circle of friends that I’m not part of.

Invariably, one of two things happens. Either I end up clinging to the one person I do know, all the while worrying that I’m ruining their good time by preventing them from a proper mingle, or I take part in an endless series of idiotic get to know you conversations with people I really have very little interest in actually getting to know.

Earlier this week, I ended up sitting across from a radiologist who was a friend of a friend. In an effort to break the deafening silence that came with us staring at each other and grasping for things to say, I asked about his job. Now, let’s be clear. I do not care about this guy’s job. I’m just trying to break the cycle of awkward. Because I’m a gifted conversationalist, I teed him up with this one: “Radiology, huh? I bet you have a ton of stories about finding weird stuff inside people.”

That should have been perfect. By asking about his work, I make it seem like I’m interested. And by asking a slightly offbeat question, I loosen up the mood so things get a little less awkward.

Here’s how he answered:

“Yup.”

That’s it. Nothing. No story about finding a stapler in someone’s colon or a fancy pen that had been lodged in some patients’ skull for twenty years. Nope. I got a one word response.

What could be worse? I’ll tell you.

A few days later, I was with a different friend and a different circle of people I didn’t know. It was a daylong festival of inside jokes I wasn’t part of, discussions of topics I don’t care about and, worst of all, the spouting of facts I knew were wrong but didn’t correct because I didn’t want to seem like a dick to this group of strangers. “Yes, Katz’s Deli on the Lower East Side is probably just a five minute cab ride from the Beacon Theatre on the Upper West Side. Especially during the tail end of rush hour. That sounds exactly right.”

So, don’t invite me out with your friends. Instead, let’s pick a day and hang out, just the two of us. Or even better, why don’t you come out with me and my friends?  They’re great guys. You’ll love them.

Sports Illustrated: November 7th, 2011

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What is Sophie Reade famous for?

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