“OMG. You are Chandler.”
This being 2011, that’s not the sort of text message one expects to receive from a friend at 11:30. And yet, there it was, one night last week.
To be fair, it was a follow up to a conversation from a few days earlier. I’m not sure how we got there, but we were talking about the show “Friends,” and I mentioned that Chandler was my favorite character.
Apparently, she was watching a rerun and thought of me. I’m not surprised. It turns out most sitcoms are based on my life.
Remember a couple of weeks ago, when I wrote about how I couldn’t get anyone to go see Weird Al with me? Well, guess what happened to Ted on How I Met Your Mother last week. Exactly! He couldn’t get anyone to go to see Weird Al with him. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Consider this. Ted Moseby is a 33 year old New YorkCity resident who spouts useless facts that no one cares about and is the only single guy in his group of loyal friends who, for some reason, stick around even though he’s generally a whiny bummer to be around. DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR? I can’t wait till the year 2030, when puberty kicks in, my voice finally changes and I start sounding like Bob Saget.
Let’s end with one more story.
I moved into the city about 10 years ago. Within a few months, I was joined in the neighborhood by 3 friends; a girl I’d known for a million years and treated like one of the guys, a buddy who was tall and kind of wacky, and SCP commenter BShrek, one of my oldest and closest friends. One night, the four of us were eating dinner at a local coffee shop. Aafter a couple of minutes squeezed into a booth, I realized something. This is Seinfeld.
I waited until we left to say anything, and even then I only said it to Bshrek.
“It makes sense,” I said, “He’s Kramer, she’s Elaine, You’re Geo..”
He didn’t say anything. He just gave me a look. But it stopped me dead in my tracks because, sadly, I knew what he was thinking. And he was exactly right.
“Fine,” I said, “I’m George and You’re Jerry.”
And there it is. My life may be a sitcom, but I’m still only second lead.
Ed. Note: How is this week’s Sports Illustrated? I have no idea. My issue never came.
SCREW YOU, THE MAIL!