The McFlys are out and there are insane bidding wars going on over at EBAY for them. All though for a good cause as proceeds go to support the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s research.

Kevin Durant even has trouble getting a pair of the Nike Air MAG 2011. Watch as he gets swagger jacked by Doc Brown.

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I already own a couple pair of REPLAY jeans, but Irina Shayk just convinced me to buy a couple more.

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I freakin love NHL goalie masks. The airbrushed designs are pretty much always creative and cool. Take for example Timo Pielmeier’s new artwork on his mask done by David Leroux of Diel Airbrush in Montreal.

You have the Anaheim Ducks mascot unleashing fury with an automated weapon…Kind of a reverse duckhunter.

Now all Timo has to do is make the team.

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Ever wonder what a trash can basketball court would look like? Well wonder no more as the Pittsburgh Steelers built their own inside their locker room.

I could picture James Harrison getting pretty physical down low and committing some hard, flagrant fouls.

UGG’s will be debuting this ad staring Tom Brady on Monday Night Football. Hopefully the Patriots will be up 77-0 so I won’t have to subject myself to watching this thing.

Although the song by Mos Def is pretty hot.

This is what his dunk probably what it would have looked like.

I was born on September 7th, 1978. For you calendar fanatics out there, you will notice that that occurred 33 years ago TODAY!

So, what does the upcoming year hold for your old pal, Justin?  People my age tend to measure success through things like marriage, children or professional fulfillment. I don’t really have the energy or the personality to accomplish any of those things.  Instead, I’m just going to read a lot.

John Belushi, Chris Farley and Jesus all died when they were 33.  As far as I can figure, as long as I make it to 34, I will be way more successful than any of them.

“But I captured Han Solo…”

h/t Bob’s Blitz

ESPN wouldn’t let me name my fantasy football team 9/11.

“But Justin,” you ask, “why would you want to name your fantasy football team 9/11?”

My motivation is immaterial to this argument. It doesn’t matter if I wanted to use that name as a way to honor the tenth anniversary of the most devastatingly awful day in the history of our nation or if it was the latest and, perhaps most inexcusable, effort in a lifelong battle against sensitivity, good taste, social decorum and the concept that anything should ever be off limits to bad jokes. Too soon? Too bad.

My beef is with the seemingly random nature of ESPN’s filtering system. Somehow, 9/11 is not allowed. SCP reader Mike Bastardo can’t use his real name when signing up for ESPN fantasy sports, because the filter blocks the word “bastard.” He has to change the spelling of HIS OWN NAME or change it completely, as if he’s some filthy Jewish lawyer who was forced into witness protection after double crossing a Mexican drug runner. (It’s ok. I’m allowed to say that. I’m filthy too.)

Meanwhile, there is a team in my league called The Face Fuckers and another one called Shaved Balls. What kind of weird line is ESPN drawing? Are they fine with foul language and sexual suggestiveness but not ambiguity or semantic nuance?  Face Fuckers is A-ok? FACE FUCKERS?!?

But I’m just a man, just a lone crusader against the thought police over at ESPN. I couldn’t name my fantasy football team 9/11.

What did I choose instead? I can’t tell you that. It’s WAAAAY worse.

Sports Illustrated, September 2nd, 2011

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