A Bad Sport, A Bad Pitcher and A Great Sandwich Recipe

Justin August 22, 2011 0

It’s college football preview issue week!

I don’t like college football.

Sports Illustrated put out a series of regional covers this week. Stanford, Nebraska, Oklahoma, and the one I received, Alabama.

How am I in the Alabama region? I live 1,025 miles from the University of Alabama. Here is how I would get there if, for some reason, this issue of Sports Illustrated convinced me to go.

1. Head southwest on 2nd Ave toward E 82nd St
0.2 mi
2. Turn right onto E 79th St
0.3 mi
3. Turn left onto Park Ave
1.9 mi
4. Turn right to stay on Park Ave
1.2 mi
5. Continue onto Union Square E
0.2 mi
6. Continue onto Broadway
1.0 mi
7. Turn right onto Broome St
0.2 mi
8. Slight left onto Watts St
0.3 mi
9. Continue onto I-78 W/Holland Tunnel

Continue to follow I-78 W
Entering New Jersey
2.2 mi
10. Slight right to stay on I-78 W

Toll road
8.2 mi
11. Slight left onto Interstate 78 Express W

Partial toll road
9.3 mi
12. Merge onto I-78 W

Partial toll road
Entering Pennsylvania
126 mi
13. Merge onto I-81 S

Passing through Maryland, West Virginia
Entering Virginia
259 mi
14. Slight left to stay on I-81 S
47.7 mi
15. Slight right to stay on I-81 S

Entering Tennessee
219 mi
16. Merge onto I-40 W
28.0 mi
17. Slight left to stay on I-40 W
8.1 mi
18. Merge onto I-75 S
16.7 mi
19. Slight left to stay on I-75 S (signs forChattanooga)
83.4 mi
20. Slight right onto I-24 W (signs forChattanooga/Birmingham)
6.3 mi
21. Slight left to stay on I-24 W

Entering Georgia
10.9 mi
22. Take exit 167 on the left to merge onto I-59 S toward Birmingham

Entering Alabama
124 mi
23. Take exit 137 on the left to merge onto I-459 S toward Tuscaloosa/Montgomery
33.0 mi
24. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for I-20 W/I-59 S/Tuscaloosa and merge onto I-20 W/I-59 S
33.3 mi
25. Take exit 73 for US-82/McFarland Blvd
0.2 mi
26. Keep right at the fork, follow signs forTuscaloosa/Downtown/Bryce Partlow/Univ of Ala/Columbus and merge onto US-82 W/McFarland Blvd E
2.4 mi
27. Take the AL-215/Univ Blvd exit towardUniv of Ala
0.1 mi
28. Turn right onto AL-215 S/University Blvd E

Destination will be on the left
1.3 mi
The University of Alabama
739 University Boulevard
Tuscaloosa, AL 35487
That would take 16 hours and 49 minutes. Unless there’s traffic. AND THERE ARE TOLLS.
No thank you.
Sports Illustrated: August 18th, 2011
Trent Richardson, College Football, Alabama Crimson Tide

PREGAME:
If you are a regular reader, you know, I fear change. Change gives me diarrhea. That’s why I’m as shocked as you are about the fact that I really like Sports Illustrated’s re-design, which was rolled out with this issue. The fonts are bold, adding tweets and facebook messages to the letters section makes some sense and I like folding “Signs of the Apocolypse” and “They said it” onto the top of pages.
You know what I don’t like? Joe Sheehan writing about baseball. This week he argues that AJ Burnett… is good. And this is why:
Fielding Independent Pitching (FIP, which evaluates a pitcher using walks, strikeouts, hit batsmen and home runs allowed) scores it 4.26 to 4.67 in favor of Nova. Go one level deeper, to xFIP—which assumes a pitcher will have a league-average home run per fly ball rate—and Burnett is the team’s third best starter behind Sabathia and Colon.
It gets clearer by the week that Joe Sheehan may not actually watch baseball. He may just crunch numbers. How can you watch AJ Burnett struggle through start after start and argue he’s anything more than the Yankees worst pitcher. I’m glad that his Fielding Independant Pitching numbers look good. One problem, though, the Yankees have fielders. And they don’t play well behind AJ, in part, because he takes an hour between pitches and ends up in a 3 ball count on almost every hitter.
I don’t care much about Keegan Bradley’s win at the PGA championship. In fact, I had to look down just now and see what tournament it was that he won. But, Alan Shipnuck’s Inside Golf profile of Bradley did leave me with one important life lesson. Bradley’s mom makes him peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She puts a layer of peanut butter on both pieces of bread to prevent the jelly from seeping through the bread. I tried it on Friday and IT TOTALLY WORKS!!!!! Of course, my sandwich then had three times as much peanut butter as usual (“Why three times, Justin? You’re only putting one extra layer of peanut butter on the sandwich.” “Well, inner monologue, I have issues with portion control. Thanks for making me confront them on the internet.”)
THE ARTICLE
Bringing Out The Best by Austin Murphy
Too be clear, according to this article, the best thing that happened to college football this season was a deadly tornado in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and a deadly hurricane in Haiti. I just don’t get it.
Scouting Reports by SI Staff
Formatically, the individual scouting reports are only so-so.  I know its hard to include full lineups for each team, but I think there needs to be more than just 3 key players listed. I don’t think you get a real feel for the teams as individual units from reading these previews.
POINT AFTER by Phil Taylor
For whatever reason, I’ve really enjoyed the NFL preseason this year. It probably has something to do with the fact that all the roster moves are still fresh in my mind. Plaxico Burress signs with the Jets and I get to see him play for them a few days later. No one signs with the Giants, and I get to watch them somehow still look fine.

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