While most NBA players are spending their off season vacationing somewhere exotic, players like Tyreke Evans, James Harden, and Kevin Durant work on their trade in various summer leagues across the country. Check out this sick off the backboard dunk by the NBA scoring champ in LA’s Drew League.

Like how I worked in KD’s jersey name into the title. I am on that next level!

After his dominating performance at the 2011 U.S. Open, Rory McIlroy decided to celebrate his title by taking a cue from the NHL and sip some fine beverage from the championship trophy. I wonder if it was Jagermeister.

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I have some issues when I travel.  Namely, I can’t shit on the road. I’m not talking Maya Rudolph in “Bridesmaids”, literally shitting on a road. I mean I have trouble defecating when not in the comfort of my home or at my office.

As a result, the vast majority of my vacations are punctuated with one horrible episode, when my body just can’t take it anymore and the bowels decide to move RIGHT NOW. This never happens while I’m sitting comfortably at a friend’s house or lying in bed in a hotel. No, it happens at bars. Or museums. Or rest stops. Or random restaurants at the side of the highway.

Let’s have some fun with my misfortune. Tomorrow, I leave for 5 days in Boston. Place your bets.

WHERE WILL I SHIT? AND WHEN?

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Wow. This is a terrible first pitch.

I like the show, “In Plain Sight,” on USA. Mary McCormack plays a perpetually angry US Marshall who oversees people in the witness protection agency. Her partner’s name is Marshall, which means he is Marshall Marshall. That is hilarious. (My 3rd grade teacher was named Rose Rose. She was less funny.)

The show is on Sunday night’s but I usually DVR it and watch later in the week. That was the plan this week. On Tuesday, I planned on watching the latest episode, which was about an Amish couple that is forced to move to New Mexico.

This proved to be incredibly ironic, since I was forced to scrap my planned Tuesday night viewing because of a case of unplanned Amishness.

Because of some rooftop corrosion that I don’t really understand, my building’s Time Warner cable and internet service were both knocked out of service. IT WAS HORRIBLE!

I was forced to spend 24 hours completely cut off from the outside world, except for my radio, cell phone, 3G data service, tv at the gym and, you know, the actual outside world on the other side of the front door.

I had to listen to a baseball game on the radio, like some little kid in the early 50′s trying to drown out the fears that his older brother was going to get killed in Korea. Only it was worse than that, because John Sterling has gotten really bad at calling baseball games. (On a related note, Wednesday night, John Sterling said this: “And it’s a two run shot by Teixiera. You’re on the Mark, Teixiera. And the game is tied at 1.” Read that again. It will make your brain hurt.)

Once the game ended, I was forced to watch a DVD on my macbook, LIKE A CAVEMAN!

At one point, I tried to watch a youtube video on my phone, but because I was dealing with simple 3G service instead of my usual WiFi, it took nearly three minutes to load. THREE MINUTES!!! Is this Afghanistan?

Finally, I just gave up and read a book, then went to bed.

Service was finally restored at 11:30 the next morning.  That afternoon, I got to watch my episode of “In Plain Sight.” It ends with the witness returning to her Amish lifestyle. I don’t know what she was thinking.

Sports Illustrated: June 20th, 2011.

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Crown Royal seems to be the drink of champions. In the past athletes like Hines Ward, Lamar Odom, and Mark Buehrle all gifted personalized bags of the XR to their teammates.

Not to miss a beat Jason Terry decided to present each one of the Mavericks their own personalized bottle of Crown Royal’s “extra rare” whiskey to commemorate the franchises’ first championship. “The Jet” sums it up by saying,

“I’ve had many significant moments worth celebrating throughout my career, but after 12 seasons of professional basketball, I know how truly special and rare winning a title is,” said Terry. “So, I thought giving all the guys a custom made bag for their Crown Royal XR would be a fun way to honor the moment and give them something smooth to sip on as they enjoy this amazing feeling.”

Not a bad looking bottle. I will be waiting for mine to come by mail.

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You can dress people up, but you can’t take them out. At least you can’t take these eight guys to something as sophisticated as “Ladies Day” at the Royal Ascot.

Drink all the £98 bottles of champagne they have and throw on that designer suit, but I guess when it comes to talking to beautiful 20-somethings all proper behavior goes out the window.

One horrified onlooker said she thought the row was sparked by a blonde in her 20s.

She said: “All the men were friends. They were joined by a group of girls who looked like they were leading them on.

“Suddenly punches were being thrown and the girls were laughing. I heard one of them say, ‘Oh, are they fighting over me?’”

Nothing says BFF more than a champagne bottle and 2×4 over the head.

Just trade the suits in for some jean shorts, the bubbly for some Budweiser and you get the infield of the Kentucky Derby. Horse racing: The SPORT OF KINGS.

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I have never tried internet dating.  This young woman is one of the reasons why

Still on vacation in Barbados, Wayne Rooney must be taking in too much sun as he tweeted out this photo of himself with Jay-Z.

Pretty sure Hova doesn’t have to wear a name tag wherever he goes. Wazza later tells us he was kidding. “Haha it’s a lookalike people.”

The joke missed the mark as this looks nothing like him. Stick to karaoke and taking pictures with Rudy Gay.

15,000 limes and Arianny Celeste…What can be better than that?

Maybe adding Brittney Palmer and 15,000 lemons.