Sexting With Mom or “The Reverse Clinton”

Justin June 7, 2011 0

“What is wrong with these people?”

No hello. No how are you. My mom just jumped right into the conversation. She called me yesterday, at the tail end of the Anthony Weiner press conference.

“What is wrong with these people?”

I started in with the usual, “absolute power corrupts absolutely, politicians never think they’ll get caught,” pabulum that always comes up  when someone in power gets caught in an embarrassing scandal.

“No, not politicians. I know what’s wrong with them. I mean these people taking the dirty pictures. Who does that?” And this is how I ended up teaching my mom about sexting

sexting

It’s a weird thing to explain to your mom why people choose to send naked pictures of themselves to someone else.

“I get that 14 year old kids do it. But what adult would ever do this sort of thing?”

I had to tell her about the time I was at dinner with a group of people and asked the exact same question. All of a sudden, everyone at the table got REALLY quiet.

“But how do you take a picture of yourself? I don’t mean why. I mean how?”

She wanted to know how someone physically snaps a picture of their naked body. Well, Mommy, Iphones now have front facing cameras, which makes it easier for people to see what they’re snapping before they take the picture. Others, like Congressman Weiner, just aim the camera down and take a snapshot of the important stuff.

“Well, that’s very creepy. It’s not something we’ve ever done.”

The “we” she was referring to is her and my father. It wasn’t something that I was particularly worried about. Not just because they are my parents and that is horrifying, but also because my Dad is the worst photographer ever.  Don Mattingly once posed for a picture with me. My dad pulled out his camera and snapped the picture from about 5 feet away. When I eventually got to see the picture, it showed nothing but the wall and the very top of my head. No faces, no Mattingly, no nothing. Just a wall. So, if he couldn’t manage to take that picture, there’s no way he’s capable of doing anything dirty with a camera.

Thankfully, that marked the conclusion of our conversation. My mother now understood how people sext and I understood that it’s not something she’s interested in. I’m going to forget the part of our chat, right before we hung up, when she said she thought she might want an Iphone. I’m sure it’s just so she can check her email in the car.

After I hung up, I almost immediately called Beltway Buddy to tell him about the conversation I had just had. Of course, he laughed. But he also made a really good point. He called it a Reverse Clinton.

During the Monica Lewinsky trial, parents all over the country were forced to explain to their children about oral sex and semen stains and a ton of other uncomfortable shit. 16 years later, we’re being forced to return the favor.

I guess it’s fair. If this is the only downside to the rise of technology and aging of the baby boomer generation, I’m ok with it. I will, however, be scouring my parents photo albums for random wall shots. Just to be sure.

 

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