And  now, another installment in our ongoing series about one man’s journey to the end of a really long book.

Today marks 21 days since I began reading Richard Ben Cramer’s mammoth work “What It Takes,” which tracks 6 candidates as they run for President in 1988.  As I have stated it the past, the book is 1,051 pages long and is split into 130 chapters.

So, How’s it going?

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DJ Steve Porter does it again, this time using everyones favorite train wreck Charlie Sheen. I STAY WINNING!

Hey kid, you aren’t the only one shocked by Cesc Fabregas’ backheel.

The North Carolina basketball program is one of, if not the hottest in the nation. Could the reason be that Kendall Marshall took over the point guard position from Larry Drew? In my opinion it is. That is why I find this rap by Drew taking shots at his former team a little perplexing. Sour grapes anyone?

Check out my rhyme. Take notice Larry Drew, the UNC program is a whole lot better without you

Tom Brady dances (22 seconds in) just like he moves in the pocket. Step step slide!

-H/T Jimmy Traina

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Shaquille O’Neal might not have a 5 foot tall cake like LeBron or a money cake like Floyd Mayweather, but what he does have is sponsorship. BJ’s in the house!

Lesson learned. Whenever sitting courtside at any sporting event you must keep your head on a swivel. Especially when Ron Artest is in your vicinity. Otherwise you might take a cup of coffee to the face.

Next round is on Artest.

The gif after the jump is thoroughly entertaining.

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Mike Shalin has written a biography of Don Mattingly.  Here’s how that sentence sounds in my head:

Mike Shalin has written a biography of DON MATTINGLY!!!!!

Donnie Baseball was my childhood hero (and hasn’t fallen too far in the rankings since I’ve reached adulthood,)  so this is definitely a book I’m excited about.

The author was nice enough to give us a few minutes. We touch on Mattingly’s universal appeal, his place in Yankee history and my inability to spell.

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I think we can all agree that I would be an excellent talk show guest.

Let’s be realistic, though. I know I’m not going to be the first guest. I don’t think a show would waste two segments talking to me about my life and my latest project. But, as a secondary guest or even as an alternative to a musical performance in the thid act, I think I would shine. I can be funny and charming and self deprecating (I understand the irony of including self deprecating on the list while singing my own praises. Please add self aware to that list. )

I’m also aware enough to know that you’re not supposed to stand up and start to leave before the show can go to commercial.  How is it possible that so many public figures forget this? Just sit there until the director yells clear. When you stand up and walk away on camera, it makes you look like clueless boob and it makes the host appear like he or she (let’s be honest, it’s always a he) has no control of their own program.  I’m convinced that’s why Jon Stewart always leans in and tries to continue the conversation with his guests as soon as he ends the segment.

There is one thing that would bother me, though. I find it very unpleasant to drink water out of a porcelain mug.  I’m sure this is a tradition that dates back to that old drunkard, Johnny Carson, who mainlined Scotch to supress his urges to jump over the desk and stick his hands between Ann Margaret’s tits. But, those days are over. None of the current hosts are uncontrollable alcoholics. How about switching to a more appropriate piece of water drinking glassware? Perhaps you can use a pint glass embossed with the show’s logo or a red plastic solo cup. Anything but a heavy porcelain mug.

Until that change is made, I am not available. So, talent scouts and booking coordinators, you might as well just not call me.

Sports Illustrated: March 7th, 2011

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Digger Phelps’ led Baylor 5 might have just stopped Bob Knight’s coached 5 in a last second play scenario, but it was “The General” that stole the show with the College Gameday line of the year. As Phelps proclaims that “Defense Wins, Knight comes in with “Chicken Sh@t defense.”

Guess there is no delay with this broadcast.

-H/T BubbaProg