New Words, New Saviors and New Perspectives

Justin February 11, 2011 1

Readers, do you remember Snigglets?

They’re “words that aren’t in the dictionary, but should be.” It was a comedy bit that Rich Hall turned into an empire of TV appearances and multiple books. Sort of like an early 80’s version of “Shit My Dad Says.”

A couple of examples:

Banectomy: (n) the removal of brusies on a banana

slurm: (n) The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.

America, I’ve decided to throw my own contribution into the sniglet galaxy:

Barpocket: (n) the giant ball of receipts and cash that you find on your dresser, the morning after a night out drinking.

Friends, I do not socialize often. But last week, I actually went out two (2) times.  And both times I woke up the next morning with no idea how much money I had spent. And in that moment, with my head still swimming, the last thing I wanted to do was unspool a crumpled ball of papers to see if I had enough to pay for breakfast.

It’s not all bad, of course.  There is a special joy that comes from peeling off a few singles only to find a stack of twenties nestled safely underneath.

So, there you are, Rich Little. Do with this what you wish.  If you’re still alive, of course.

Sports Illustrated: February 14th, 2011



PREGAME:

It’s nice to see Buzz Bissinger has decided that he’s the biggest star of Friday Night Lights, even though the book he wrote a few decades back shares nothing but a title with the NBC drama and he admits that he’s barely ever seen it. It was interesting to find out that Peter Berg is his cousin, though. Remember when we interviewed Bissinger about Lebron?

Also an interesting look at Andy Pettitte’s career. Joe Sheehan’s column echoes a conversation I had with a co-worker on the day Pettitte announced his retirement. Is he a hall of famer? I say no, but I don’t think that means Andy didn’t have a great career. It just means he wasn’t an all timer.

THE ARTICLES

Green and Golden by Tim Layden

I have to admit something right off the bat. As I said earlier, last Saturday was a late night and Sunday was an early morning. I present this as an excuse for why I slept through much of the first half of Super Bowl XLV. In fact, I got to the point where I would force myself to wake up for the commercials and then nod back off when the game resumed. It took until halftime for me to get fully engaged and focus entirely. All of this is to say, I wasn’t particularly taken by the Steelers/Packers match up. And so, when I initially opened my Sports Illustrated and saw such a large article dedicated to the game, I was a bit chagrined. Unnecessarily so, as it turned out. Tim Layden’s decision to bounce back and forth between the game, and the stories of the players families and friends was a great one. It served the reader much better than a simple recap would have.

The Savior Cometh by Lee Jenkins

I can’t form an unbiased opinion on this article. That’s how much I have come to enjoy and admire Amare Stoudemire since he came to New York. While I read this profile, I tried to think back to the last Big Apple athlete who managed to create so much excitement.  It might be Joba Chamberlain during his initial call up with the Yankees in 2007. But to find an athlete who’s had a bigger impact on the city’s sporting culture, you’d have to go all the way back to 1992, when Mark Messier showed up.

A Prodigy in The Paint by Michael Rosenberg

Last week it was Jimmer Freddette, this week it’s Jared Sullinger. I would imagine we’ll see profiles of Kimba Walker and Nolan Smith in the coming weeks, as SI tries to change course into college basketball mode. Sullinger seems like a nice kid, though kind of boring and naive.

What About Bob? By Michael Farber

What about him? This article is more about the history of the Flyers than it is about one specific player. That’s not a criticism, just a statement of fact. I think a graphic listing all the goaltenders since Bernie Parent would have been kind of funny, and a good illustration of just how dire this situation has been over the years.

What Was He Thinking? by Chris Ballard

Let’s just say it. Jake Plummer is obviously a giant stoner at this point in his life. A happy stoner, but a stoner nonetheless. That being said, I’m always happy to see someone break away from the stupid warrior culture that’s forced upon the game of football. Handball doesn’t sound like much fun, though. Especially cause everyone’s apparently drunk while they play it. Probably a lot of vomiting.

Point After by Phil Taylor

Taylor says Ben Roethlisberger’s Superbowl loss may make him a more sympathetic figure, thus making it easier for him to repair his damaged public image. This is simplistic and dumb. The road to redemption for an accused rapist does not have an exit on a football field. You want to prove you’ve changed, scumbag? Do something great off the field, don’t just be humble on it.

One Comment »

  1. douchymcgee February 12, 2011 at 12:31 pm -

    Barpocket!!! Just like when you created ‘douche’

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