This is not how you want your eye looking after an MMA fight. Unfortunately for Dwayne Lewis it did.

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Anytime you can get Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Emily Blunt, Minka Kelly, Jessica Alba, Sofia Vegara, Kelly Ripa, Eva Longoria, and Lindsay Lohan all into one skit you know it is a must watch.

I wrote this whole thing backwards this week. I started with Point After and worked my way up. As a result, this intro is actually the last thing I’m writing.

Why? I thought the change might spark some inspiration.

I think about these reviews a lot. I’m constantly mining the seemingly mundane events of my life for material to use in these weekly dispatches. Usually, I come up with something.  Most of the time it’s pretty good, but I admit, there have been some clunkers.

This week was shaping up to be a bad one. I woke up this morning and literally had nothing to say.  When I sat down to write this, I had no idea how I would fill the column inches which usually lead off the Sports Illustrated review.

How’d I do?

Sports Illustrated: February 28th, 2011

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Someone cut me off a slice of Floyd Mayweather’s birthday cake. That looks pretty “money.” Although LeBron will tell you it’s not as big as his.

Sports Crackle Pop needs your help in getting our Morganette into the Sweet 16. What you all need to do is head over to bracketmaster.spike.com and vote for Maya from Detroit, Michigan in the North region. You know Eminem is probably sitting at home right now voting for The D’s lovely representative, why shouldn’t you?

Voting for the opening round ends on March 2nd. So head over daily to bracketmaster.spike.com and vote. Did I mention that you have the opportunity to win a grand prize package worth $15,000. If that doesn’t get you to click the link and fill out your brackets then nothing will. So as Dwight Schrute would say. “Let’s do this thing. Three, two, one. Five, four, three, two, one. Now! Now! Now! Say it! Do it! Now! Do it now! Do it!”

Help us get Maya to the next round. Win and advance!

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Do you like sports? Do you like comedy? Do you like comedy events which are loosely based on a popular sports format? GOOD NEWS! Caroline’s Comedy Club in Times Square has just the thing for you.

Starting Tuesday, the club’s hosting it’s Annual “Caroline’s Final Four” stand up tournament. The Host and Referee is comedian, Josh Spear. He took a few minutes to discuss the event, the club and the difference between midgets and comedians. (It’s all semantics!)

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When I was 4 years old I was still crapping my pants. At the same age this kid has the nickname Z Styles and imitates Blake Griffin’s weak jump over a car dunk.

This youngster has the swagger to talk trash to the NBA Slam Dunk champion. I would have probably just laid a turd burger.

If you had to choose one, which injury would you rather have happen to you?

Soccer cleat to the face

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This is Mike Tyson reaching his comedic peak.

I am taking his Oscar picks and heading straight for my online sportsbook right now. Audi A8 here I come!