Same Old Same Old

Justin January 19, 2011 0

Hello, Internet.

I’d like to start this week with a gigantic I TOLD YOU SO!

But, I’ll admit, even I was shocked by how quickly homeless Ted Williams spiraled from overnight sensation to cautionary tale. I blame Doctor Phil, who had the guy on for like 5 straight shows. It’s no wonder Williams ended up in rehab. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy who, just last week, was sleeping under a bridge and trading hand jobs for crack money.

So, who’s next? What relatively ordinary American has recently been thrust into an uncomfortable spotlight by a voracious media that no longer takes the time to fact check?

Unfortunately, I think the next best candidate for a fall is hero intern Daniel Hernandez. He’s the 20 year old credited with saving the life of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords during last week’s rampage in Arizona.

Let me be clear. I am rooting for this guy. I want him to be the real deal. I want to believe that he’s a 20 year old kid who’s somehow possessed with the maturity, calm and quick thinking nature that it takes to run into the path of incoming gunfire and provide life saving assistance to a shooting victim. That would be amazing.

All I’m saying is I wouldn’t be shocked to find out it’s all a lie. Would you? If Congresswoman Giffords makes a full recovery and gives an interview, would it shock you to hear her say, “I’ve never even met this guy. What’s he doing sitting next to the President at a memorial service?”

Cynical? You bet. But what other choice do I have? It’s the way of the world. Maybe I should talk to Dr. Phil about it

Sports Illustrated: January 17th, 2011

PREGAME:

As you know, my idea of humor does not necessarily gibe with that of Dan Patrick. Generally, I find his jokes forced, infantile and unfunny. But at least I can usually recognize that they are jokes. Not the case this week. Here is the one liner which is printed, in red, underneath his Just My Type column.

“Before he can be traded to the Nets, Carmelo Anthony must agree to a $65 million extension. Or $62 million if he flies in and out of Newark.”

I don’t know what that means. Did he mean to include a number higher than 65 million, as a way of saying flying in and out of Newark was such a hassle that it should require extra payment? I honestly have no idea what point Dan Patrick is trying to make with this joke. Is he veering into Andy Kaufman/ Steve Martin territory by trying to play a joke on his own audience? I don’t think he’s capable of such high mindedness. If you understand, please explain it to me in the comments section below.

I also want to make note of a fascinating statistic that appeared in this week’s Inside The NHL

Between 1952 and 1989 no franchise won a Stanley Cup championship without a future Hall of Fame goaltender on its roster.

That’s 37 years without a single team slipping through the postseason with anything less than an all time goaltender. That’s amazing.

THE ARTICLES:

National Championship by Austin Murphy

Let’s get one thing straight. The Auburn/Oregon game was not a great GAME. It was a sub par slow-moving game that had a thrilling ENDING. The first 55 minutes or so cemented for me why I don’t like college football. Both the players and the coaches make way too many mistakes.

Now, let’s learn together. What the hell is War Eagle?

According to a 1998 article in the Auburn Plainsman [2], the most likely origin of the “War Eagle” cry grew from a 1913 pep rally at Langdon Hall where students had gathered the day before the Georgia football game. Cheerleader Gus Graydon told the crowd, “If we are going to win this game, we’ll have to get out there and fight, because this means war.” During the frenzy, another student, E. T. Enslen, dressed in his military uniform, noticed something had dropped from his hat. Bending down, he saw it was the metal emblem of an eagle that had been loosened while he cheered. Someone asked him what he had found, and Enslen loudly replied, “It’s a War Eagle!” The new cry was used by students at the game the following day.

Thank you Wikipedia.

The Old Men and The D by Ben Reiter

This week’s Sports Illustrated didn’t come until Friday. I expected it to arrive one day late because the BCS game was played late Monday. But two days late? For that, I would expect an issue full of inventive non-BCS articles, since writers had extra time to come up with ideas and do their research. Instead, I got a series of profiles of the same old guys. What more do we need to learn about Ed Reed? He’s played for awhile and his body aches.

Now, a sidebar on the sidebar. Here’s Peter King’s predictions for Ravens-Steelers.

It’s the eighth meeting in 28 months in this hide-the-women-and-children series, and the previous seven have all been single-digit close. But keep this in mind: Ben Roethlisberger hasn’t lost to the Ravens since 2006, he’s playing at home, and he’s had a bye week to heal all that ails him.

Steelers 20, Ravens 13

First of all, poor choice of words Peter King. Perhaps you’ve forgotten that Ben Roethlisberger is a dangerous sexual predator. You should not use the phrase “hide the women and children” in a tongue in cheek manner when referring to anything he’s involved with. It should be used as a serious warning.

Secondly, Peter King was on Charlie Rose last night, along with Boomer Esiason. When the topic turned to previewing this game, Boomer referred to it as a “hide the women and children” game, then asked Peter King if he agreed. Well, of course he agrees, Boomer. You clearly got the idea from reading Peter King’s prediction in the Sports Illustrated that arrived in your mailbox just a few hours earlier. Peter King kind of made a face when it happened. How embarrassing for Boomer.

He Packs A Might Wallop by Damon Hack

Another completely generic profile of a player. Why not do a piece on the entire Matthews family, instead of just including a quick mention of Clay the 3rd’s lineage?

Like A Bolt of Pure Energy by Tim Layden

Troy Polamalu’s another guy that we already know enough about. But, at least I’m impressed with some of Tim Layden’s writing.

Joe Namath was an artist standing in the pocket, with white shoes and a quick release. Dick Butkus was an artist in pursuit of mayhem, forearms at the ready. Barry Sanders was an artist working in tight space, like liquid on cleats. They executed, but they also entertained. Polamalu, the eighth-year strong safety of the Pittsburgh Steelers, is their descendant, turning defense into a form of expressionism.

“Liquid on cleats.” I like that a lot.

Big D (Finally) Gets Its Big Man by Lee Jenkins

This is the best article in this week’s magazine. Tyson Chandler’s been around for seemingly a thousand years, but I knew very little about him. The story about his grandfather picking walnuts to pay for NBA League Pass was great. But, more importantly, Chandler comes off as a guy who’s trying to save the next generation from what he sees as the evils that he was exposed to.

“You Don’t Have To Be Mad To Be Intense” by L. Jon Wertheim

MOTHERFUCKER! Seriously? Another article about Rafael Nadal? COME ON! There are more than two professional tennis players. Find a third and WRITE ABOUT HIM!

What’s Really Behind Home Field Advantage by Tobias J. Moskowitz by L. Jon Wertheim

This seems like a really interesting book. I have a feeling we’ll be getting into further depth about it on SportsCracklePop sometime in the near future.

Point After by Phil Taylor

I have no problems with this column. Phil Taylor makes the same point a lot of people do. A Hall of Famer should seem like a Hall of Famer. If there’s an argument, you shouldn’t qualify. I’m not sure if I agree, but it’s a valid opinion.

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