TMZ brings us the story of a local restaurant owner doing his part to make sure the University of Minnesota’s TCF Stadium is ready for next Monday night.

You shovel snow from the stands, you get to shovel ribs with your hands.

Now we can call him the Big Conductor.

Shaquille O’Neal continues to add to his reputation as most fun professional athlete of our lifetime.

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Andy Roddick is one lucky man.

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Is this how people really dress up for their holiday cards? I mean I guess it is if you are the Kardashians.

Look at Lamar Odom just stylin!

Earlier this year, I signed up for Twitter (to great fanfare.) So far, I enjoy it. I like following 30 baseball writers who all retweet each other over and over again with info about Cliff Lee that ultimately turns out to be wrong.

But there’s also a bit of a downside. I got this email this morning:

CGU_Tranny_ (@CGU_Tranny_) is now following your tweets (@Justin_SCP) on Twitter.

You do not follow CGU_Tranny_.

And I will continue to not follow CGU_Tranny_.

Thanks, though.

We all know it’s not Alex Rodriguez. Cameron Diaz looks like she is going to smack a bitch if he starts acting up.

For some unknown reason to me, Montreal Canadians goalie Carey Price decided to cover Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok.”

The hockey mask and jockstrap are great. But the dancing is even better.

-H/T Hockey Hub

While filming separate movies in New Orleans, Zac Efron and his buddy Kellan Lutz hit up the Saints game. And as you can see they took time to take pictures with Alex Brown’s wife and kids. It was a tweens dream at the game on Sunday. Rumor has it Miley Cyrus and Taylor Lautner were also at the game.

Meanwhile a newly single Vanessa Hudgens was busy trying to find out my number.

DeSean Jackson gets to the endzone in style against the Cowboys. America’s team what!

I went to a taping of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart this week.  How was it? That’s nice of you to ask, best case scenario of an imagined generic reader. I’ll tell you how it was. It was cold and long and kind of funny and then cold again.

Let’s break those down one at a time.

COLD- I went to the show on Thursday. New York City’s high temperature that day was 33 degrees, but in my infinite wisdom, I decided that I would not need a pair of gloves to go out. The Daily Show films at a studio on the West side of 11th Avenue in between 51st and 52nd streets in Manhattan. That is the non-sun side of the street.  Also, as most people know but I tend to forget, the sun goes down earlier now that it’s December.  I had one of those shakable pocket hand warmers, but it never reached a temperature much higher than kinda warm during the entire experience. I think it was too cold for the hand warmer.  Here’s how cold it was: I couldn’t feel my feet at all. No, wait. Here’s how cold it was: I went to the bathroom at one point and was actually relieved to feel the warm urine streaming through my freezing cold weiner.

LONG- We arrived at 2:35pm for a taping that was supposed to begin at 4:30pm. When you sign up for free tickets you are warned that producers purposely overbook, so it is advised that you get there about an hour early. Well, if one hour is advised, it makes even more sense to get there 2 hours before the show starts, right? Well, kind of. We got in. But 4:30 really meant 5. So we stood on the sidewalk for 2 and a half hours before going into the studio. And it was cold (did I mention that?) So, five o’clock comes and they hand out the tickets. Then it’s time to go in. That entails a level of security which falls somewhere between boarding a flight to Jerusalem and trying to cross over into East Berlin at the height of the Cold War. Empty your pockets of anything metal. Hand over your backpacks and laptops. Pass Through the metal detector. Then, stand in a new line and wait to be seated. This takes another 5 minutes. Eventually the doors open and we’re taken to our seats. Now, it’s about 5:15. And we wait. They play music, loudly. Bon Jovi, Boston, The Eurithmics, etc. All the hits! This goes on for almost an hour. Finally, at about 6:05, there’s finally some action. The warm up comic comes out. That goes on for about ten minutes. It’s awkward and I spend the whole time trying to avoid eye contact so he won’t ask me whether I like breathing or if I wear pants.  But he finally introduces Jon Stewart, who comes out and takes questions from the audience. And he kills! Funny answers to relatively intelligent questions. This goes on for another ten minutes before he heads backstage and the actual show starts.  The show ended at about 6:55 and we left. The entire experience of watching a live taping of a 22 minute comedy show, from arriving at the studio until leaving, took 4 hours and 20 minutes. Like I said, LONG.

KIND OF FUNNY- The warmup comic was moderately decent, but mainly just annoying. It’s not his entirely his fault. He was trying to riff off responses to stupid questions (do you have a dog? Do you like food?) from a couple hundred people who were suffering from low grade hypothermia. Actually, it is his fault. “Do you like food?” Seriously?  Jon Stewart was obviously much better, but it was a slow newsday at the end of the week in December and he had a bit of a cold. If you watched Thursday’s Daily Show you know it wasn’t a GREAT episode, but it was certainly funny enough for me. It was cool to be there. Of course, half way through I realized I was just watching on the monitor instead of actually looking at the stage. I might as well have been watching at home.

COLD AGAIN- Like I said earlier, the studio is on 11th Avenue, between 51st and 52nd streets. The subway is at 8th avenue and 50th Street. I had not magically acquired gloves during my Daily Show experience. The sun had now gone down. The wind had picked up. My body temperature was still a bit low from my pre-show outside standing. All of those factors added up to an incredibly unpleasant walk to the train.

So, should you go see the Daily Show? I say yes, but do it in May. And bring something to occupy yourself while standing there. Perhaps Sports Illustrated.

Sports Illustrated: December 13th, 2010

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