What Continent is the Middle East in?
Look at a map. Is it Africa? Is it Asia? Is it Europe?
Most people just consider it a stand alone region. But it must be on a continent. Everything is on a continent. It really bothers me that I don’t know this. It seems like a piece of knowledge that any educated adult should possess. And yet, I have absolutely no idea.
Geography is hard.
And while we’re on the subject, is a country in a continent or on a continent. And do people live in Long Island or on Long Island? Do you wait in line or on line?
English is hard.
Reviewing Sports Illustrated is easy.
Let’s start with a letter, which references Selena Roberts column a few weeks back, about the high school cheerleader who was punished because she didn’t want to cheer for the basketball player who raped her.
If the school had allowed H.S. to protest during the game, it would have been unfair to the basketball players and the other cheerleaders who were also participating. Parents and fans would wonder why she wasn’t cheering for that one particular player, and the focus would have shifted from the game to the controversy.
Samuel Miller, Seattle
Samuel Miller, of Seattle, Washington, you are a fucking idiot. I’m currently reading Jonathan Franzen’s novel,”Freedom.” One of the characters is a woman who was raped in high school but whose parents convinced her not to go to the police because the investigation would be embarrassing. That incident haunts her for the rest of her life. Samuel Miller comes from the same school of retardo thinking. Unfair to the players is no excuse to make a rape victim suffer, Sammy.
Bill Clinton writes about the trying to lure to World Cup back to the US. His arguments are strong and his facts are well researched, but man, when you read this, it becomes very obvious that Barack Obama is an incredibly talented writer. By that, I mean you can be a brilliant person and a near perfect politican, but the ability to string words together eloquently is clearly not a given.
Mark Sanchez pays a visit to the Dan Patrick bad joke and strained pop culture reference emporium this week. Sanchez impresses me. He is positioning himself as Derek Jeter’s heir apparent in the New York athlete hierarchy. Dan Patrick makes a joke combining Nascar and the BCS. He is positioning himself to replace Shecky Green in the hack comic hierarchy.
Is It OK To Cheer? by S.L. Price
Michael Vick was a topic of discussion at Thanksgiving dinner. My aunt owns a dog grooming business in Fairfield, Connecticut (it’s called Ruff Cutz. If you’re in the area and have an unruly looking dog, check them out.) She’s also very passionate about animals. I don’t give animal rights much more than a cursory thought. In her mind, Michael Vick is a psychopath whose callous murder of animals can be viewed as a stepping stone to greater acts of violence. I see him as a guy who served his debt to society and deserves the right to make a living and accomplish whatever he’s able to. The thing is, we’re both right. S.L. Price does a nice job of painting both sides without passing judgement. But, are we sure Michael Vick gets it? He says all the right things, but how much of that is motivated by him truly being a changed man and how much is a guy who knows he can’t blow this second shot? I’m not sure it matters. As long as he does the right thing, his motivations are immaterial.
The Fifth Cup is the Sweetest by Lars Anderson
Let’s change things up for a bit. How about YOU tell me what you think about this article on Jimmie Johnson winning the Nascar title.
Bolt of Lightning by Michael Farber
The content of this piece is far less important than the fact that it was written. Steven Stamkos is quickly becoming the 3rd major star in the NHL, along with Crosby and Ovechkin, so it’s important that non-hockey loving sports fans know his name. The next step is to have Tampa Bay play in a Winter Classic. Make it happen NHL: Lightning/Rangers at Yankee Stadium, January 1st, 2012.
The Tipping Point by Ian Thomsen
All I remember about Monty Williams is that the Knicks drafted him out of Notre Dame even though he had a heart defect. I have no memory of him ever appearing in a game for them. This article makes it sound like I will never have a memory of Chris Paul playing in a Knicks uniform either. Everyone involved is saying the right things. Let’s see how long that lasts.
Respect At Last by Grant Wahl
Not a chance.
The Courage of Jill Costello by Chris Ballard
The other day, I made an english muffin for breakfast. While carrying it from the kitchen to the living room, I dropped the english muffin, jelly side down, onto the rug. It completely ruined my day. I could not get over the annoyance of having to clean grape jelly out of a shag carpet. In hindsight, that incident is further proof that I AM A GIANT PUSSY!!!! Reading about Jill Costello’s battle against disease and her refusal to let cancer get the upper hand really drove that point home. I can’t help but put myself in her position and try to imagine what I would do. I can guarantee you it wouldn’t involve 5am practices in freezing cold water. I read this amazing article this morning, while riding the train back to the city from New Jersey. I actually had to stop and put it down multiple times because I was starting to choke up. If you read nothing else in this week’s issue, please read this article.
POINT AFTER by Phil Taylor
This column is about a month late. Cody Ross WAS a great story. Now, his heroics are pretty much forgotten. I’m glad he’s enjoying his off-season. It would have been fine to leave him to it.