College Ball, College Buddies and College Grads

Justin November 20, 2010 0

So, Justin, you’ve made no secret about the fact that you don’t like college football very much. But, what are your feelings on college basketball?

Well, hypothetical reader posing strangely appropriate questions, I enjoy college basketball quite a bit.

I can’t say I’m a diehard. I don’t have a favorite school and it’s very unlikely that I will sit down on a random Wednesday night and watch an entire game, start to finish, on ESPN. (Partly because it won’t keep my attention and partly because Modern Family is on. GO MANNY!)

A lot of people complain about the NBA. “The players spend too much time going one on one. There isn’t enough team ball.”

Well, I have similar problems with the college game.  I think games tend to turn into 3 point contests, with four players lining up on the perimeter and 1 big guy standing inside trying to draw defenders toward the hoop. I would rather watch players use their athleticism to get to the basket than watch spot up shooters fire from long range all day.

But, at least there’s a way to know who the champion is once the season ends.

Sports Illustrated: November 22nd, 2010

Nolan  Smith, Collge Basketball, Duke Blue Devils

PREGAME:

Here’s something weird from the letters.

In your article about Newton you state that “he could become the first junior college transfer to win the Heisman.” O.J. Simpson played for City College of San Francisco in 1965 and ’66 and was twice named to the Junior College All-America team before transferring to USC and then winning the Heisman in 1968.

Patrick Doherty

Springfield, Va.

And that is followed by this:

EDITOR’S NOTE: In addition to Simpson, three other junior college transfers went on to win the Heisman: Navy quarterback Roger Staubach in 1963 (New Mexico Military Institute), Nebraska running back Mike Rozier in ’83 (Coffeyville Community College) and Florida State quarterback Charlie Ward in ’93 (Tallahassee Community College).
Essentially, this was the folks at SI saying, “You think we messed up a little  bit?  You don’t even know how shitty we are.” How do you forget four of the most famous players in college football history? Was that entire article written with Wikipedia?
Gary Cartwright writes the Scorecard column about the sad state of football in Texas.  In the history of the world, has there ever been a more Texas-appropriate name than Gary Cartwright? I wouldn’t be shocked if he wrote this whole thing while sitting on a bull.
THE ARTICLES
The Big Difference by Damon Hack
This is a perfectly nice article about the New York Jets offensive line. They’ve been very good this season. My problem is with this line from Damon Hack:
• Right guard Brandon Moore, 6’3″ and 305, undrafted out of Illinois in 2002. He’s strong (a 600-pound bench press) and smart (an undergraduate degree in English).
Brandon Moore may be an absolute genius. He may be a combination of Einstein and Socrates. But the simple fact that he is a college graduate with a degree in English does not MEAN he is smart. I know many college graduates. A number of them are fucking retards. (In fact, some of them are probably reading this right now. And others are having someone read it to them because, despite their college degree, they may be functionally illiterate.)
The Buddy System by Kelli Anderson
I had friends in college too
Bring It All Back Home by Kelli Anderson
Now, these two young women don’t appear to be friends at all. They seem to be acquaintances who’s mothers have become friends. If the mothers had met when the girls were 2 or 3, they may have become friends. That’s how I got stuck having a Beltway Buddy. But, Amber Harris and Ta’Shia Phillips seem longtime teammates, nothing more and nothing less.
Hoops Heroes by Luke Winn
SI Editor: Hey, Luke Winn, why don’t you profile three of the lesser known stars in college basketball who are trying to take their programs to the next level?
Luke Winn: Ok
–Three weeks later
SI Editor: Hey, Luke Winn, where’s your article?
Luke Winn: Oh shit.
SI Editor: Did you forget?
Luke Winn: Ummm.. no. I had a great idea. We should hire a comic book artist to draw these guys.
SI Editor: Hmm.  So is that why you didn’t do any research or conduct any interviews?
Luke Winn: YES! That’s exactly why I did that.
The pictures are  cool though
Scouting Reports by SI Staff
No complaints about the format here. The writers pick one guy on each team who best exemplifies what the team will go through this season.
But, I always wonder about slotting team according to their finish in the tournament (Final Four, Elite Eight, Sweet Sixteen, etc.) What if Kansas and Baylor end up in the same region?  It’s hard to make predictions based on the whims of a committee.
POINT AFTER by Selena Roberts
I don’t feel like learning a larger lesson. Here are some quick impressions I got from reading this:
- DJ Hernandez is a dick.
-The fact  that the opposing coach survived cancer and has children has no bearing on this story.
-Pizzoferrato is a funny name.
-I think it may be time to put the Point After column out to pasture. Rick Reilly used to make me cry sometimes. None of the replacements are capable of that level of emotional writing.


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