When The Fuck Will I Wear This?

Justin October 28, 2010 3

A couple of days ago, I bought something I’m very excited about.

It’s a cool thing and I got a great deal on it.

There’s only one problem. I have absolutely no idea when, where or why I will ever wear a 1990’s era Pat Verbeek Hartford Whalers Jersey

I didn’t set out to own a 1990’s era Pat Verbeek Hartford Whalers jersey. My original plan was to own a 2010 Chris Drury New York Rangers jersey, which I could wear when attending a 2010 New York Rangers game. But, they were sold out of 2010 Chris Drury New York Rangers jerseys, so I was forced to reassess my desires. At that moment, my hipster induced love for retro crap took over and I clicked on the Hartford Whalers merchandise link. I didn’t want a Ron Francis. I didn’t want a Mike Liut. I didn’t want a Kevin Dineen.  I decided I wanted a Pat Verbeek. The purchase was made. Then, the thinking began.

Here’s an email exchange with my brother

-I Just bought a Hartford Whalers Pat Verbeek jersey. Why? I’m not sure. But it’s authentic and only 38 dollars and Im really excited

-is it already worn? If so , that’s gross. I tihnk you’ll wear that 4 times. I think you SHOULD wear that 0 times. Cool purchase, though, if its in a frame over a desk

-it is not pre-worn. It is new. I will wear it between 0 and 6 times I think. Maybe next time I go to a Hartford Whalers game.

And there’s the rub. When will I ever wear this thing?  If I wear it while engaging in any sort of generic social activity, I’m the creepy adult in the jersey. If I wear it to a hockey game, I’m the stupid guy who wears a jersey to a hockey game JUST TO WEAR A JERSEY TO A HOCKEY GAME. It’s not like my Whalers jersey will demonstrate a rooting interest to either team.

And yet, as I said before, I am incredibly happy with this purchase. I think it was the absolute right thing to do. Even if I only wear it when I’m running out to get a bagel or sitting alone watching TV.

3 Comments »

  1. King Ing October 28, 2010 at 3:23 pm -

    The Whalers are never out of style. Why didn’t you get a Sean Avery instead?

  2. Sakmar November 2, 2010 at 2:10 am -

    In 1986 I had almost this exact jersey (mine was a Ray Ferraro) when I was working at a Benneton store in Beverly Hills as a stock guy. One day a bunch of guys in from the Corporate office come to see the store and they grab my Whalers’ Jersey. They ask a bunch of questions about what it is and they took pictures of it. 3 years later Benetton stores around the world sold a rugby jersey with the EXACT SAME PATTERN. Whalers classic design, it was even good enough to be ripped off by hack Italian fashion designers.

  3. Scott August 1, 2012 at 10:35 pm -

    If you want to sell it, please let me know.

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