Clowntime Is Over: Hard Knocks 2010

Justin September 1, 2010 0

The season’s fast approaching and things are starting to get serious.

Let’s take a closer look at Week 4 of HBO’s Hard Knocks.

-It may be preseason, but Rex was in mid-season form this week. A few of my favorites:

In the team meeting: “Let’s not be a slapdick team. Now, let’s get a god damned snack.”

To someone on the Redskins: “That’s why my brother got rid of your ass.”

On Mangold’s contract going to the Center’s head: “I was in Taco Bell last night. Nick Mangold was in Taco Bell last night.”

– You know who probably loved this episode of Hard Knocks? Alan Faneca. The Jets cut him this offseason and decided to replace him with a young guard.  The two guys competing for the job had terrible weeks.

– The Kellen Clemens/Mike Tannenbaum conversations were fascinating.  Sometimes you forget that these guys are people. Clemens is a guy who’s been on the Jets for a few years. He’s comfortable with the team and with his life in Jersey. But the team wants him to take a massive pay cut. He was treated with respect by the organization.  That’s exactly the type of thing this show was designed for.  But, where was Clemens agent during all this?

– The stuff about Revis was also very interesting. Those rumors about an imminent signing dominated the internet, even though most people thought they were bullshit. It’s fascinating to see how the guys inside the organization reacted to them.

-Following in the footsteps of previous clueless old men like Joe Namath and Marty Schottenheimer, this week we see senile old Bobby Bowden at practice.

-Jason Taylor comes off like a real dickhead. He’s late continually. The first time he blamed the Turnpike’s confusing signs. The next time he blamed traffic. The third time, he blamed his GPS, which he thinks is trying to get  him lost. Maybe it’s just a Jets fan trying to drive him into the ocean. He drives his ridiculously expensive car while the rest of the team takes the bus. He buys his children a wrestling ring than laughs while one punches the other in the face.  I am quite confident he will be booed at home this year.

I’ll keep it short this week, because our good friend, and Jets diehard, Beltway Buddy had a little diarrhea of the fingertips on Gchat once the episode ended.

I’ve come to terms that the Jets will find a way to screw up this wonderful thing they have going. My cousin thinks it’ll be something out of left field like Sanchez getting caught carrying Paris Hilton’s coke next time she’s in town. I’m not as imaginative. I’m guessing it’s a rash of injuries, forcing the crap back-ups to play.

So with that mindset, I can now watch this show and enjoy it, finally.
The story lines are getting predictable though. Intriguing none the less. I’m just scared that the Jets will learn what anyone who has tried building a fantasy team in Madden learns… too many high-priced starters means you’ll have to have sucky back-ups. All the fucking around the Jets do, you’d think they knew that already.
So what did I get from this week’s episode?
– Someone needs to teach Sanchez how to crack a joke and lift the spirits of the team.
– Someone needs to tell Kellen Clemons he has no shot of getting paid #2 money b/c there’s always going to be some better veteran out there than him. He got the short end
– And finally, someone at HBO needs to tell the editors never to show Rex Ryan sans shirt ever again
Wow.  And what does John think? Let’s check out 200 Miles From the Citi to find out.

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