Pretty Words: Hard Knocks 2010

Justin August 18, 2010 1

Week 2 of HBO’s greatest show since “Dream On” and things are starting to take shape.

No time to huddle. We’ve got our initial impressions. We’ve got our Elvis Costello headline. Let’s talk Hard Knocks

-It seems like the producers are taking a different tact with the show this year. They’re focusing more on individual characters and less on position battles. It may be that the Jets have the majority of their roster set already or it may simply be the fact that Rex Ryan is such a magnetic personality but, whatever the rationale, the show is different this season. Not better or worse, just different.

-That being said, it seems like they purposely backed off on Rex a bit this week. His personality (and his mouth) dominated the news all week. His act seemed a bit muted this week. But, he was still likable, especially in the way he roots for Vernon Gholston.

And now our running list of things Rex eats:

Week 1

1. Pretzel Rods

2. M&M’s (peanut)

3. 14 wheat thin crackers in a dunkin donuts cup

4. 1 Polly-o string cheese

5. Fruit plate

Week 2

1. M &M’s (peanut)

2. Popcorn (small, no butter)

– BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE! The episode opened with Springsteen’s ode to the old stadium, “Wrecking Ball.” You can’t complain about that.

-Last week focused on Rex’s language. This week, let’s talk a bit about the rest of the team’s language. At one point, I checked to see if I had the SAP button pressed, cause I didn’t understand a word they were saying.

“viper’s going to you, son”
“you don’t check for no cross dog”
– Mark Brunell has a daughter in college. He doesn’t want Mark Sanchez to fuck her. That reminded me of the story of Dallas Stars teammates Brendan Morrow and Guy Carbonneau. Morrow dated Carbonneau’s daughter during the team’s Stanley Cup run.  I would imagine that was awkward, though Morrow ended up marrying the daughter, so that may have made it a bit more palatable for Carbonneau.

– Last week, Kris Jenkins called Mark Sanchez “Nacho.”  This week, Sanchez was wearing a Taco Bell hat.

-Speaking of stereotypes.. Antonio Cromartie.  Listening to him name his kids is like watching clowns get out of a Volkswagen. Every time you think it’s over, it keeps going. Also, he’s scared of the water.

-Rookie fullback John Conner hits hard. The coaches love him.  But Brian Schottenheimer gets the award for stupidest comment of the week. It came after he saw Conner deliver a particularly noteworthy block.

“And that’s why they call him Terminator”

No it’s not, stupid. They call him that because his name is John Conner. If John Conner were 5’7″ and 160 pounds and worked as the Jets IT consultant, they would still call him Terminator.

-Finally, we end, as we do every week, by checking in with our 2 favorite Jet fans.

First, Beltway Buddy who sent this GChat message as soon as the episode ended:

I would not wish this show upon any fan of their favorite team. Seeing coaches and players talking sh*t behind each other’s back is incredibly divisive. I understand why this show is considered a curse… b/c it just might erode the trust a team needs to have in one another.

And for a more thorough read, we turn to John at 200 Miles From the Citi.

One Comment »

  1. Douchey Mcgee August 19, 2010 at 2:52 pm -

    I love the ‘Dream on’ reference!! That was my favorite show growing up, it was equivalent to watching the spice channel thru the squiggly lines…all you heard was moaning but that was all you needed. I also enjoyed your take on Cromatie being afraid of the water and not the claustrophobia he blamed it on! Haha!

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