Over the weekend you might have caught the highlight of Ndamukong Suh trying to tear Jake Delhomme’s head off. What you might have missed from that game was Detroit Lions’ safety Louis Delmas getting a little excited in pregame introductions and running over a couple of children.

They are just giving you fair warning. No matter how old or what size you need to keep your head on a swivel.

-H/T It’s Always Sunny in Detroit

With the US Open Tennis Championship kicking off today we figured what better way to bring it in than with pictures of the beautiful Brooklyn Decker. It just so happens she has a pictorial in this month’s Access (DirecTV) magazine. Enjoy

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I love me some Lady Gaga. You know who else does? Mr. Brandon Jennings! It’s YOUNG MONEY baby.

Its about that time again.

My SI subscription is set to run out next month. Obviously, I’m going to renew. But, as is the case with everything else in my life, I’m being lazy  about it.

Sports Illustrated doesn’t know that. They’re probably worried that I may be on the verge of cutting our relationship off after two decades. After all, I can read it for free online.

As a result, the good people at Time, Inc are trying to entice me to stay into the fold with the offer of free gifts. It’s a trap I’ve fallen into before, but it’s not a mistake I plan on making again.

When I was a kid, Sports Illustrated offered cool stuff like football phones and sneaker phones and posters. That is no longer the case. Here’s a list of free gifts I’ve recieved in the past:

1. Long Sleeve T-Shirt: I’m by no means a small person. But I’m not unusually large either. I’m around 6’1″ or 6’2″ and I weigh around 240 lbs. I don’t shop at big and tall shops nor do I struggle to fit into clothes from namebrand stores. Yet, for some reason, a size XL Sports Illustrated long sleeve t-shirt makes me look like I’m trying to squeeze into a child size shirt. The sleeves barely reach my wrists and he neck is so tight I feel like I’m being choked. If the shirt arrived on a Tuesday, it had been relegated to the pajama draw by Wednesday.

2. Sports Illustrated Fleece Jacket: Again, there are issues with the sleeves being too short. Luckily, the sleeves have elastic in them so I can stretch them out a little bit. I like the fact that the heather grey fleece jacket has a full zipper, which eliminates a lot of the tightness issues. At least I did like that until I tried to unzip it one day. And the pully-y part of the zipper snapped off in my hand. I WAS A PRISONER IN COMFY FLEECE.  I nearly dislocated my shoulder trying to slip it off over my head.

3. Sports Illustrated Gym Bag: The picture makes this look like a very nice bag, suitable for trips to the gym or overnight travel. In reality, this bag is barely large enough to hold a pair of sneakers. It’s a glorified toiletry bag. Unless there’s an entire community of Sports Illustrated readers who exercise barefoot in nothing but tiny shorts, this is not a useful item

4. The Football Book: It’s a coffee table book full of pictures of Jim Brown. I’ve never really understood the point of coffee table books anyway. After you look at the pictures once, what’s the point of looking again? It’s not going to change. But at least pictures of art or foreign lands or exotic animals show people you have some level of sophistication. What does a picture of Dick Butkus shooting snot rockets tell visitors about you?

5. Sports Illustrated Travel Alarm Clock: It’s small and fragile so if you actually decide to travel with it, the clock will break in your bag before you reach your destination. It’s not backlit, so you can’t see it with the lights off.

So, this time, Sports Illustrated, I will pass on the bonus items. A lack of clutter in my closets and garbage can is gift enough.

Sports Illustrated: August 30th, 2010

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This is not a joke. Here’s his handwritten letter to SI.

H/T Hotclicks

For some reason, both Cardinals manager Tony LaRuss and 3 time National League MVP Albert Pujols will be making an appearance at Glenn Beck’s tea party morono-fest at the Lincoln Memorial tomorrow.

I would like to offer up a wager as a result.

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What happens when Brandon Jennings, John Wall, Tyreke Evans, DeMar DeRozan and Bobby Brown walk into a gym and challenge some of the nations top high school talent at the Boost Mobile Elite 24 midnight run? You get a highlight reel alley-oop pass from Young Money to J-Wall.

Someone please tell me that Bobby Brown is actually R&B singer Bobby Brown! I saw him on Celebrity Fit Club and if that was any indication he is definitely a guy that cherry picks his way though a game.

-H/T Slam Online

Dreams do come true! I am talking about my dreams, I really don’t know what Arianny Celeste (above right) dreams of. You see Dana White confirmed that my favorite UFC ring girl will grace the cover of Novermber’s issue of Playboy. (Happy dance)

As you can see in her May 2010 issue of Maxim, Arianny has no problem rolling around with no clothes on.

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Three weeks down. Three more to go.

Let’s discuss the latest edition of HBO’s Hard Knocks.

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Ever since word spread about Irina Shayk’s relationship with Cristiano Ronaldo, the model has been all over the pages of magazines. None more evident than GQ. First came the cover of the South African issue and now she has a spread in the September 2010 US edition.

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