Thanks to a Thierry Henry handball, the Irish didn’t have a chance to make the World Cup meaning no Robbie Keane or TV time for his wife Claudine. Fortunately for us that gave her more time to perform her duties as the face of the Ultimo Lingerie line.

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This is absolutely spectacular. Two hot Brazilian fans show us how to properly use a vuvuzela. Unfortunately the two guys watching remind me of Justin and myself.

-H/T Busted Coverage

It looks like Walter Dix really wore down Tyson Gay

Earlier today, I recieved an email from JohnKerry.com. Here are some highlights.

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Nothing like going to a Yankees game and getting great seats behind home plate in order to simulate a blowjob on television. Well played.

-H/T Barstool Sports

NFL washout Kyle Boller married this cunt.

Carrie Prejean has taken the ol’ “opposite marriage” plunge.

The onetime beauty queen turned same-sex marriage opponent had a wedding of her own Friday night, swapping vows with NFL stud Kyle Boller in a lavish ceremony in San Diego.

Good for you. I hope those monsters in Raider Nation get violently aggressive with her during games next season. Focus on the Family can’t save you from the Black Hole, you wretched whore.

Here. Look at some naked pictures of this holier than thou twat. I’m sorry it’s only a TMZ link and there are stars covering the good stuff.

Let’s talk about movies. More specifically, let’s talk about movie posters.

I walked by a theatre this morning and saw an ad for Cyrus. John C Reilly plays a guy who dates Marisa Tomei and Jonah Hill plays her son. The two guys hate each other. Catherine Keener also plays some role.  The poster has the names of all four stars above the title. Reilley and Keener are billed as Acadamy Award Nominees and Tomei is listed as Academy Award winner.

I definitely want to see this movie. And that’s no small thing. I don’t generally say that. I see movies about as often as I have sex. (The only difference is that I need another person with me when I go to movies. I AM VERY LONELY.)  The concept of John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill going one on one in a passive agressive man-child face off is enough to make me giddy. But at the same time, I don’t expect either of them to break any new acting ground during their performances. And I don’t expect Marisa Tomei or Catherin Keener to add any additional weight to the plot through their roles. So, why advertise them all as award winning actors? Do you think you’ll fool people who don’t know what to see into buying tickets? “OOH, MAYBE IT’S LIKE A MERCHANT-IVORY FILM. I LOVED JOHN C REILLY IN CHICAGO.” No one is that dumb. And even if they are, Jonah Hill’s big fat face on the poster will pretty much convince those people that this ain’t Shakespeare.

Also, when does the Statute of Limitations run out on Oscar wins? I’m tired of hearing Matt Damon and Ben Affleck being billed as Acadamy Award winners when their new movies come out. Good Will Hunting was 13 years ago. AND THEY WON IT FOR WRITING, NOT ACTING.

Just give people what they want. Stop trying to convince them it’s something different.

This theme will return, as we dissect this week’s issue.

Sports Illustrated, July 5th, 2010

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Holy shit. Neither Landon Donovan nor coach Bob Bradley have even a hint of personality.

Go ahead and watch this video. But place something soft on your keyboard first, because you may actually nod off while watching these two zeros.