Dear Famous Hollywood Celebrity John Cusack,
Happy Cinquo de Mayo. I hope you are well. I am a big fan of your work. In fact, High Fidelity is, hands down, my favorite movie of all time. I’m also quite fond of projects like Grosse Pointe Blank and Better of Dead. And while I must admit I’ve always found Say Anything to be a bit overrated, it’s success allowed Cameron Crowe to move on to films like Jerry Maguire and Almost Famous, which I absolutely love. I’m also looking forward to seeing Hot Tub Time Machine.
But, I’m wasting your valuable time. Let me get right to the point. We at SportsCracklePop would like to thank you for linking to us on your Twitter feed yesterday.
That Hank Azaria video is certainly quite funny. I especially enjoyed the part, when he did play by play in the bathroom. What was your favorite part?
Chances are, you found our website by googling that video. I hope you also got a chance to look around a bit while you were visiting. We’re proud of what we do here, and we’ve built ourselves a nice little following of loyal readers. That being said, if there are any changes that you, Hollywood actor John Cusack, feel would make our website more Cusack accessible, please let us know. We will cater to your needs in the drop of hat, even if those needs come at the detriment of that loyal readership we have worked so hard to cultivate in the two plus years we’ve been around.
Perhaps you would like us to focus more on your beloved Chicago sports scene. The Bulls are certainly dysfunctional these days.Â But, hey, Alfonso Soriano looks like he’s starting to hit. That must make things happier over at Wrigley.
Or maybe you would like us to find a small, yet quirkily lovable, role for your sister, Joan, here at the website. She always does a wonderful job when she takes on that sort of part in one of your films.
Are you still feuding with your childhood friend, Jeremy Piven? He had some unkind things to say about you in a magazine article a few years back. But, friendship is hard sometimes. I certainly hope you two old buddies can work things out. But if not, fuck that guy. He rode your coattails for years. And Entourage is starting to get stupid. How many times can Vinny Chase fail and still end up coming out back on top? Hollywood is not that forgiving. But, look who I’m talking to. You’ve successfully walked that tightrope for nearly three decades. You don’t need me to tell you.
Well, I guess that’s all for now. We’d love to hear from you again.
Your friends at SportsCracklePop
P.S. Did you see tha takeoff on your famous boom box scene from Say AnthingÂ on SNL earlier this season? (unfortunately, NBC took it off line.) While the show has no doubt had problems all year, it’s still capable of putting out true gems like this every once in a while. I just wish they weren’t buried at the end of the show, when most people have already tuned out.