If you know me, you know that I’m a slave to ritual. I wake up at the same time every day then go through the exact same routine every morning, down pretty much to the minute. It’s the same at night.
Well, this week, I changed that routine. In an effort to be less fat (it won’t work) I decided to add some extra time to my morning workout. I began waking up 15 minutes earlier, and spent the extra time on the elliptical machine. The good news? Perhaps the extra mile and half every morning will help me fend off the cold hand of death when I come to the end of my days. The bad news? It’s thrown my magazine schedule completely asunder.
It used to go like this:
Tuesday: Time Magazine
Wednesday: Time Magazine (cont)
Thursday: Sports Illustrated
Friday: Sports Illustrated (cont)
Whatever I didn’t finish, I would read on the weekend. But the extra 15 minutes of elliptical magazine time every morning has left me with no leftovers.
I am not a soothsayer. I do not own a crystal ball, nor do I possess any particular insight into the future. But, I’m almost positive that at some point this weekend, I will defecate. And I will be forced to do it sans reading material. This is obviously a horrible fate which will continue to repeat itself week after week unless something is done.
Ultimately, what I’m saying is I’m in the market for a new magazine to add to the rotation. Any suggestions?
I mean seriously, doesn’t this look appetizing? Forget pepperoni, mushrooms, and sausage; you need to top your pizza with an NBA logo.
“The logos, to be available next season for all 30 teams, are made of sugar, starch and food coloring. They’ll add about $5 to the pizza price.
The logos won’t be sold directly to consumers but to some 1,200 independent pizza parlors nationwide. The paper-thin logos come in 12-pack resealable pouches. The image is placed atop the pizza after it has been fully baked and sliced. The logo then melts into the cheese.”
The worst officiated game in NBA history. Kendrick Perkins hit with the most ridiculous technical fouls ever. Big Baby and Marquis Daniels getting knocked out. Things could not have gone worse for the Celtics.
Hopefully for game 6 they put Scalabrine in there to knock some people on their ass.
The US National Team announces its final 23 today at 1PM on ESPN. Look for Oguchi Onyewu to make the squad as they need his size to help neutralize the likes of Peter Crouch in South Africa. So here to mark the occasion are the pictures from Gooch’s GQ photoshoot.
I need to get myself an American flag for June 12th!
NBC aired the series finale of Law and Order last night. And like pretty much everything else the network has done over the last couple of years, they botched it. The series was on for 20 years, tied for the longest continous run in television history. And yet, it ended last night without so much as an acknowledgement from the network. ABC spent 2 and a half hours saying goodbye to Lost on Sunday, then dedicated an episode of Jimmy Kimmel to the show later that night. Fox turned the last episode of 24 into a two hour event.
Now, Law and Order has certainly seen better days. It’s quality has been waning, probably since Jerry Orbach left. And the producers didn’t know last night’s episode would be the last one until after it was filmed. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve a proper sendoff. How about a one hour retrospective? Interview the stars, the guest stars, people in New York City. Let them discuss the impact the show had on their careers and the city.
Do you think, when the time comes, Fox will simply air the last episode of the Simpsons without doing anything special? Of course not.
SportsCracklePop will now step into the breach and mark the end of a TV institution. We proudly present the all time leaders since Law and Order premiered in 1990.
George Steinbrenner’s favorite Japanese import overdid it on the Sake Sunday night.
“Former Major League Baseball pitcher Hideki Irabu, a one-time rising star from Japan, was arrested in Gardena for allegedly driving while intoxicated, police said Monday.”
George Steinbrenner’s favorite Japanese import overdid it on the Sake 
