Tom Brady to Burn in Hell

tommy neumann October 27, 2009 0

go-to-hell-and-die1Tom Brady, superstar NFL quarterback, tops a list of professional athletes headed for the lake of fire. The Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, North Carolina has released a list of players who are going to hell. According to the religious extremists, the New England Patriot may have more to worry about than being the greatest quarterback ever.

“Tom Brady has an unwed child, but its okay because he wins Super Bowls,” it says on the church’s website. “Tom Brady is teaching us to have sex outside of marriage, to commit fornication, dont marry and do the right thing, dont take responsibility for your actions, have a good time no matter who you hurt in this world, go from sex partner to sex partner, and its okay because of who I am. How many of you dad’s cheer on Tom in the Super Bowl while your kids are watching?”

These zealots make me like Brady much more as a person. This is the same group of morons who burned books of Mother Theresa and any bible not the King James.

Also spending some quality time with the devil:

Richard Petty- “Richard Petty’s god is racing, not god almighty. He teaches that it is okay to cheat just dont get caught doing it. Is Richard Petty your idol?”

Jennie Finch- “Appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated as part of the Summer swimsuit edition. She turned down a lucrative contract from Playboy because she said she would rather be a role model for young girls.”

Marko Jaric- “Engaged to the Victoria Secret’s supermodel (porn magazine) Adriana Lima.”

Joakim Noah- “Has long hair, which is disobedient to the word of god.”

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