Good news for five frat brothers from Villanova. It doesn’t look like they’ll be going to jail for breaking into Lincoln Financial Field, and vandalizing the home of the Eagles. Instead, they’ve reached a plea deal, which involves a fine and some community service.
The question remains, however. Why would five teenage males break into the home of a major professional sports franchise, and do damage to it?
“These unfortunate events were a result of a certain amount of unbridled misdirected judgements largely connected with a fraternity prank,” said Simon, explaining that the stunt was part of a pledging activity. “All of the individuals are absolutely and sincerely apologetic and are pleased and grateful with the result that has been achieved.”
Ah yes, the fraternity prank.Â And I”m sure it was followed up by some gay stuff back at the Frat House, because everything isÂ followed up by some gay stuff back at the Frat House.Â They don’t call it gay stuff, but that’s what it is. Maybe some dude nicknamed “Whizzer” pissed in a cup and made them drink it. Â Â Or maybe the pledges had to get naked in a room together for some reason.Â Maybe they were naked while they were vandalizing the Linc.
Why, Fraternities? Why? I have a number of excellent friends, with whom I share a lifelong bond. And I can assure you, those bonds would not be any stronger if, at some point, an older drunken dickhead had forced us to cradle each other’s balls while a third dude played with himself in the front of the room.
Also, why do you have to call the annoying kid Newman? He’s having enough trouble adjusting as is.