Friggin’ A-Rod

Justin March 5, 2009 0

Here are a few questions about this jackass and the way the Yankees will deal with his absence for the first few weeks of the season.

-Do they use steroids to help treat cysts? Because that would make me laugh

-Can Nick Swisher play 3rd base? If not, can the Yankees trade for Aaron Boone? If that happens, will it erase all the bad voodoo of the past five years?

-How many freaking relatives does this idiot have? His cousin shoots him up with steroids, then shows up at spring training. Now his brother is the one who tells ESPN about his hip surgery. How come a guy who has hired an agent, a publicist, and an entire Hollywood Management team can’t reveal this information in a more traditional fashion?

-If you were the Mets and the Yankees offered you A-Rod straight up for David Wright, is there any way in the world you would accept that offer?

-How many nations can A-Rod fuck at once? After playing for the US during the last World Baseball Classic, he decided to play for the Dominican team this year. So, Cubs 3rd baseman Aramis Ramirezdecided not to take part in the tournament, since he wouldn’t play that much. Now, ARod is out, Ramirez is off the roster, and Felipe Alou is searching for a new 3rd baseman. Meanwhile, A-Rod makes some dopey comment about how he would love to have Jose Reyes as his lead off hitter and shortstop. Now, Derek Jeter has to deal with that issue over at US team spring training.

-If A-Rod had dealt with this earlier in the off-season, even a week earlier, would the Yankees have signed Manny Ramirez? They now have a huge hole in the middle of their lineup until at least May, and there’s only a couple of other right handed hitters in baseball who can fill his shoes, statistically speaking.

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