Kei Igawa’s foolproof plan for avoiding a trade

California Correspondent January 2, 2009 0

kei

The guys at Respect Jeter’s Gangster discover the best plan to avoid getting traded. Just threaten to punch your boss’ horse.

“I’ve never folded under pressure,” said Yankees co-chairperson Hank Steinbrenner. “But this was something different.”

Steinbrenner, who has looked to trade Igawa since his troubled beginning, found himself unable to make the trade because of the unusual leverage Igawa had over him.

“I got home one day,” Hank said, “and I was going through my mail and I found a letter without a return address. I opened it up, and all it said was ‘If you trade me, I will punch your horse.’ It included a picture of my prize horse Tornado Thunder and a masked person wearing a boxing glove. I couldn’t tell it was Kei Igawa, but I suspected it was him.”

Go read the rest of this interview with Hank. It sounds like a lost Seinfeld script, with Barry Bonds and the Yankees finance guy as suspects.

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