Day of Atonement-Sports Edition

Justin October 8, 2008 6

Yom Kippur starts at sundown. Like me and millions of others around the world, some Jewish athletes will be spending the day reflecting on a year’s worth of sins, and asking for forgiveness.  And because I’m here to help, I’ve decided to compile a list of the sins committed by our favorite jewish athletes, so they know what to repent for.

Ryan Braun: He had an On Base Percentage below .300 in the Brewers first round loss to the Phillies. You’ve gotta do better than that.

Kevin Youkilis: He did nothing wrong statistically this year. In fact, he’s my pick for AL MVP.  But that beard makes him look like a vagina face.  How does his mother let him leave the house like that?

Scott Schoenweis: One pitch, one homerun, one more season down the drain for the Mets. Way to come up big on the last day of the season, Scott.

Jordan Farmar: Certainly he had a nice season for the Lakers, helping them reach the NBA Finals. And he’s done an amazing job this summer, bringing Israeli and Palestinian kids together for a basketball camp in Israel.  But the tattoos are bothersome. Doesn’t he know you can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetary with tattoos.

Sage Rosenfels: What was with that helicopter leap/fumble against the Colts? He blew a huge lead with like 5 minutes left in the game. Pathethic.

Eliot Sadler: Race cars? Really?


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