Yom Kippur starts at sundown. Like me and millions of others around the world, some Jewish athletes will be spending the day reflecting on a year’s worth of sins, and asking for forgiveness. And because I’m here to help, I’ve decided to compile a list of the sins committed by our favorite jewish athletes, so they know what to repent for.
Ryan Braun: He had an On Base Percentage below .300 in the Brewers first round loss to the Phillies. You’ve gotta do better than that.
Kevin Youkilis: He did nothing wrong statistically this year. In fact, he’s my pick for AL MVP. But that beard makes him look like a vagina face.  How does his mother let him leave the house like that?
Scott Schoenweis: One pitch, one homerun, one more season down the drain for the Mets. Way to come up big on the last day of the season, Scott.
Jordan Farmar: Certainly he had a nice season for the Lakers, helping them reach the NBA Finals. And he’s done an amazing job this summer, bringing Israeli and Palestinian kids together for a basketball camp in Israel. But the tattoos are bothersome. Doesn’t he know you can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetary with tattoos.
Sage Rosenfels: What was with that helicopter leap/fumble against the Colts? He blew a huge lead with like 5 minutes left in the game. Pathethic.
Eliot Sadler: Race cars? Really?
