Who’s The Biggest Douche in Sports?

Justin August 24, 2008 1

Just a couple of nominees left, before we let you answer the ultimate question: Who’s The Biggest Douche in Sports?  Here are our previous qualifiers.

Candidate 15: The guy who invented the X-Games.

I don’t know his name, but I hate everything he stands for. He’s the reason my deodarant is called X-TREME.  More importantly, he laid the groundwork for ESPN’s transition from sports channel to all mighty commercial monolith.

The X games were not created to fill a void for sports fans. They were invented to appeal to a demographic which consultants said was important.  That sort of thinking led to other abominations like televised poker and the ESPY’s and Jim Rome and that horrible Bobby Knight movie with all the unneccesary cursing and ESPN the Magazine.

(Yes, televised poker is retarded and if you like it you’re a dick. You’re also a dick if you got sucked into the poker craze a couple of years ago. Or if you ever talked about poker when you were not physically sitting at a poker table. No one cares about your flop or your river. Shut the fuck up.)

((P.S.  That is an example of neccesary cursing. Stop throwing my own examples back in my face.))

And here’s the problem with The X-Games, and “extreme” sports in general. It didn’t work. They didn’t catch on with mainstream sports fans. It’s been a decade. It’s not going to happen. You will never make me care about whether some guy can flip over on his skateboard.  And I hate that you are pre-empting Sportscenter to force it down my throat, and then delaying baseball highlights to show this idiot flip over on his skateboard again.

Unless he falls and gets hurt.

If the key appeal to something is the opportunity to hopefully see someone get paralyzed, then it is not a proper spectator sport.

So, X-games guy, I hate you.


One Comment »

  1. bshrek August 25, 2008 at 4:37 pm -

    Justin sucks at poker.

Leave A Response »