Who’s The Biggest Douche in Sports?

Justin August 13, 2008 0

Some more summer’s eve on this summer’s afternoon.  Check out the first 11 candidates  in our search for the largest d-bag in sports.

Candidate number 12: Barry Bonds

Let’s get one thing straight. The simple fact that Barry Bonds took steroids does not make him a douchebag. I don’t even care that he took them. Lots of guys have done it, and a number of them aren’t particularly unpleasant.

Bonds is a douche because of why he took them.  He wasn’t some guy battling for a job, or a solid pro looking for a big payday. Bonds was already a hall of famer, and arguable the greatest player in history. But he was jealous that McGwire and Sosa were getting all the headlines, so he took steroids and put up unimaginable numbers.  Petty jealousy led him to destroy the sport’s most hallowed records. That is the douchiest thing ever.

Then he got caught. And he denied it. And he was indicted. And he denied it. And his trainer and supposed best friend, Greg Anderson, went to jail to protect him.  You know the saying the truth shall set you free? Well, that was literally the case. If Bonds had admitted his wrongdoing, Anderson probably could have gone home. Bonds screwed his “friend”, douchily.

At least he was cool to his teammates. Oh wait. No he wasn’t. Only Barry Bonds could turn Jeff Kent into a sympathetic figure. He sat in that Giants clubhouse, taking up two or three lockers, and sitting in a specially ordered leather recliner. And from that seat he refused to talk to most reporters, unless they were young and hot and blonde.

Is it any wonder that a guy with this much baggage couldn’t find a team this year? His agent thinks it is, because he wanted to players union to investigate whether the owners were colluding against Bonds to keep him out of the sport.  How can anyone be so blind to public opinion.

The final straw came last weekend, when Bonds was invited to take part in a 50th anniversary celebration in San Francisco. He took the mic, told the only fans who ever liked him that he wasn’t retired, then took a shot at the Joe Torre and the Dodgers, who were watching from  their dugout. “Hey, Torre, I’ve beaten you before and I’ll beat you again.”  That’s nice, dickhead. Also, when have you ever beaten Torre? The Giants never played the Yankees in the post season.  Unless, this raging asshole is discussing some long ago game against Torre’s Cardinals in the 90’s, when both teams were terrible.

Hey Barry, go away.


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