The Crackle Recommends

Justin August 13, 2008 1

In an ongoing effort to make you, the reader, enjoy your life more, we present SCP recommends. It’s an ongoing list of things we think you’ll like. Some of it is from the sports world, some of it is not. It’s an idea lovingly stolen from Dave Eggers and the good people at McSweeney’s.

Denard Span:

Have you seen this guy play? He’s a defensive dynamo for the Twins. Span turns in a minimum two great plays every game in right or center field. He also has a gun for an arm, and is hitting about .320.  You want to know why the Twins continue to battle for first place, even after trading Johan Santana and losing Torii Hunter. It’s because their system continues to produce stars like Span.

Loose Balls:

I’m not talking about forgoing underwear, it’s a book.  The definitive oral history of the ABA collected by Terry Pluto. Doctor J, Rick Barry, Connie Hawkins and Bob Costas all make appearances, but the star is Marvin “Bad News” Barnes.  You may like the story about him keeping a gun with him on the bench, but for my money, the best story surrounds his refusal to take a short flight from St. Louis. Since the flight would cross a time line, but was shorter than an hour, it was actually scheduled to land earlier than it took off. That’s what scared Marvin, who refused to get on “a time machine.” Awesome. Here, buy it. It’s like 10 bucks.


I know, I know. You love baseball. And you love sitting by the pool with a cold drink. I love those things too. But not as much as I hate the constant sweating and unbearable humidity and stench that eminates from overheated city streets. Have you ever gotten out of the shower and already been sweating? It’s the absolute worst feeling ever. A close second is walking into your office and immediately detouring to the bathroom so you can dry off with a thousand paper towels. Plus, what’s with all the stores making polo shirts so small? I’m a large man, and now I can’t buy a proper short sleeve shirt at The Gap, or Banana Republic or J Crew because they make the sleeves so short, you can’t wear an undershirt. And then the sweating becomes a problem again. During the winter, you can dress nicely and neatly and not worry about giant wet spots. I’d rather freeze.

One Comment »

  1. The Professor (MidtownMike4) August 13, 2008 at 5:01 pm -


    I agree with you regarding heat, humidity, and the terrible summertime smells of NYC. Winter and fall are my favorite seasons, hands down. I think most clothing designers are cutting shirts smaller to accommodate scrawny, slight Euro-trash (because the Euros are the only ones buying anything these days). We can also thank the hipster community for this fashion trend. I find myself buying one size larger than usual these days – as I’d rather not look like a twink.

    Sadly, you just failed the spelling bee, chief. The correct spelling is “emanate” — NOT “eminate.” Sorry – I just had to point that out. Otherwise, tremendous work, as usual.

    -The Professor

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