Live Blog: USA v China Basketball

Why am I live blogging this, no one knows. The King is really hungover and is supposed to play golf soon so I don’t know how long this live blog will last.

It’s the “Redeem Team” against Yao, Yi, and Zhizhi! I am going to go out on a limb here and say USA crushed China. I just don’t think the Chinese guards can keep up with Chris Paul and Deron Williams. Damn, King Ing is a genius!

Sidenote: Short Asian men really like NBA players.

First Quarter:

- President Bush was in the USA pregame team huddle. Thats it, team is now jinxed. I change my pick and am going with China.

- Yao Ming just ripped a 3 ball. Damn you President Bush.

- Dwight Howard first of many dunks. I can’t focus.

- I definitely need to get me a China jersey. And its gonna be a ZhiZhi Wang!

- Yao just stuffed Kobe and then Lebron pins the ball on a sick block. USA is still losing 11-9.

- Timeout, I am exahusted just watching the game. I couldn’t imagine running up the court right now. Moving from my laptop to the fridge for a Gatorade seems like a daunting task.

- Why is Yi Jianlian in the NBA. He just takes up space.

- Wang is in the game! You know he is waiting to jack up about 10 three pointers.

- Fadeaway by Wang. No wonder he isn’t in the NBA anymore.

- Both President Bush’s are in the crowd! Whatever happened to Michael Dukakis?

- Dwight Howard just abused Yi.Maybe a double team is in order.

- Chen J.H. layed the ball up over the backboard. This is the China I know. My friend Peter Cheng shot the ball over the backboard in Asian 3 on 3 last week. Coincidence, I think not.

- First quarter is over. 20-16 USA. You want analysis, go to espn.com. You want a hungover Chinese guy, stay right here! Damn I like exclamation points

Second Quarter

- Dwight Howard paved a highway sized lane for Dwayne Wade. And he thanked him with a reverse dunk.

- I wondered if Dan Steinberg is at the game. Of course he is. That lucky piece of crap.

- Lebron with another obscene block. Pass ahead to Wade who almost dunked it from the free throw line.

- Wang just launched a 3. No good

- I noticed there aren’t many timeouts in this game. NBC is losing out on some ad money!

- 6 points in 30 seconds. All on dunks. Kobe Bryant just posterized some poor guy.

- Seriously, why aren’t there more ads. Dick Ebersol is no David Stern. If the commish was in charge we would have timeouts after every 3 minutes.

- China is hitting their outside shots. Keeping them within striking distance.

- Lebron drove past 1 billion people in China and was fouled weakly by Yi Jianlian. Way to play strong

- That was just the sickest alley-oop dunk by Lebron. Guess he wants to be alpha dog on this team. Kobe is going to have to step it up

- The Big Lead is live blogging this right now. No one is going to read mine. I might just go play golf

- Carlos Boozer enters the game. Guess Tayshaun Prince is the last man on this team.

- Doug Collins just said that Carmelo Anthony “reconnected” with Michael Phelps? I don’t think those guys hang out in the same circles.

- Halftime. USA up double digits.

- “Limited interuptions” by Coca-Cola. I wonder what that means. Luckily I know someone who works ad sales for NBC. I can find out. And I can also get VIP tickets for NBC’s Summer Concert Series. Too bad I didn’t know that earlier. I could be dating Rihanna right now

- OK. Live blog update. I am going to play golf at 11:45 AM. So I will stop this then and my 2 readers will just have to deal. Thats what SCP is all about. Half assing everything we do! I think we need more pics of hot chicks on this site. Although according to sportstech.com, we are a top 25 sports blog. HOVA!

Third Quarter

- I take back what I sad about Yi. He just followed up a miss with a dunk over Carmelo’s back. Too bad he is shooting 1 for 8.

- Wonder what the point spread on this game was. As a degenerate gambler, I should know this.

- The Redeem Team is stepping up defensively. Oh, thats because ” Automatic Miss” Wang ZhiZhi is in the game.

- Yao is hurt. Not a good sign for China, but more Yi Jianlian for us.

- Something just occured to me. Mike Breen is announcing the game. Isn’t he exclusive to ABC? Why isn’t Jeff Van Gundy there. I would rather listen to his comic genius than boring Doug Collins. What is Chris Collings up to?

- This is turning into a blowout.

Forth Quarter

- Ma Jian! I used to love that guy. Why I stopped I have no idea. He was big on the Utah Utes.

- Beautiful layup by Deron Williams. Michael Redd with a three.

- President Bush dips out early. Just like I am about to do. The golf course awaits.

- Yao Ming still trying hard. Good for him. Bad for Ron Artest

- I am out. Hope you enjoyed this. I did!