Keep the suggestions coming, as we continue counting down the denizens of douche.Â First, take a look back at the first 7 candidates.
I can’t believe I’ve waited so long to include this guy, but the next nominee is quite a large bag of douche.
Candidate number 8: Bill Belichick
There’s so much to cover here, but I’ll start with the superficial first. Hey Bill, why do you dress like a fat teenage girl? Jesus! Those friggin hoodies are the worst thing ever. It’s probably a subtle sign he’s trying to send to the rest of the world. “It doesn’t matter if I look stupid, cause I’m a genius and you’re not.”
That segue’s perfectly into argument number 2. Hey Bill, you’re not a genius, you’re a goddamned football coach. The 3-4 does not equate to E=MC2. Get over yourself, you fat girl looking non-mensa son of a bitch.
Now, the handshakes. Why are you such a dick? Shake Mangini’s hand after the game. He was perfectly within his rights to take a promotion with another team.Â And he even followed in your footsteps, by becoming head coach of the Jets. Remember when you were head coach of the Jets? What a glorious 20 minutes that was, before you decided you could get more money from the Pats. I was going to discuss this with you on the field after you lost to the Giants in the Superbowl last year. Two problems though. I wasn’t there and neither were you. You stormed off the field in a fat girl non mensa ingracious huff before the final whistle blew.
You broke up a marriage. You made Ted Johnson take steroids. You probably caused Tedy Bruschi’s stroke. You orchestrated spygate. You are a horrible human being with no redeeming qualities. I hate you.
WHAT A DOUCHE!