Who’s The Biggest Douche In Sports?

Justin July 31, 2008 2

Keep the nominees coming.  Someone threw Rip Hamilton out there.  What has he ever done?  I’ll need some more detail on that one, before the masked man makes it  onto the list. Leave some more info in the comments section.  Here are our previous candidates.

Candidate number 5: Rudy Giuliani

Rudy is, no doubt, a massive douchebag, though his contributions to global douchery are on a much grander scale than just sports. 

There’s the realm of politics. Giuliani has climbed to national prominence atop the bodies of three thousand people. Douche!

There’s his personal life: His wife learned he was leaving her, by watching one of his City Hall press conferences. Douche!

But this is a sports blog and a sports argument, so we’ll focus on Rudy’s sports douchery.  We’ll start with the fact that he’s declared himself the greatest Yankee fan of all time.  I have no problem with a public figure being a fan of a particular team, but just because your office guaranteed you good seats, it doesn’t mean you’re fan #1. I would be willing to bet there’s some 65 year old woman who’s been sitting in the upper deck for 35 years, and named her sons Thurman and Donnie.  She is the biggest Yankee fan on the planet. You are a jerkoff who wore a satin jacket and rode a wave of Yankee success through a series of high profile photo ops designed to deflect attention from his various scandals. “It doesn’t matter that Abner Luoima has a plunger up his ass, look how much Joe Torre likes me!”

And would a “huge Yankee fan” ever say he was routing for the Red Sox? Well, Rudy did.  It was before last year’s World Series.  Also, it was before the New Hampshire primary.  He’s such a big fan, he sold out his favorite team in favor of it’s biggest rival.  At least it worked for him. What? He finished behind Ron Paul in the New Hampshire primary? Oh. Nevermind.

And the douche gene is apparently passed on.  His fat son, Andrew, is suing the Duke golf team, because he was throw off the team. Turns out he wasn’t good enough. Also his teammates hate him. And the coach decided to drop half the team, in order to have a smaller roster. No worries, though, Andrew decided he was entitled to an athletic scholarship and lifetime usageof Duke golf facilities.  And why shouldn’t he be given those things? It’s not like he can afford a college education or membership to a golf course on his own. Oh wait, yes he can.  He’s Rudy Giuliani’s kid!

Apparently the cock doesnt fall far from the dick tree. 



  1. California Correspondent July 31, 2008 at 4:06 pm -

    Can someone please post a pic of Rudy with a Red Sox hat?

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